Sometimes we got too used to the people around that we became dependant on them.Me, for an example. I do realized that sometimes I do take my family for granted but sometimes, I give back. I let them take advantage of me. Sometimes I find it unfair and complain sometimes I regard them as responsibility and shut up.
I am loudly declaring that I do not have lots of friends. I have friends here and there but they are friends I see every 6 months, 1 year or maybe never again unless we cross junction again. It kinda other me a little that I do not have that many friends. Really.. All girls needs girlfriends.. They are the one who shape you, can be by you, know you and your companion when no one else can. I know how it feel but that was back in my school days. Come poly, I knew I have many friends but me being me, I tend to shay a bit away from them. I still have that small cave I will come crawling into alone some of the times. Its irritating having to admit them. But like the say, ‘ The first step to handling your problem is to admit them first’. That’s what I am trying to do.
After poly, I was always busy with work. There were family commitments. Ya, I am single and young but that doesn’t mean I dun have commitment. Every family is different. You have your problems, I have mine. I can’t possibly go back and shout to these people who love me saying that they are the reason I am who I am today. Because though I am not the smartest kid in the world, I know how to appreciate people. I hope at the very least.
And so, as I was saying. We often let ourselves became deoendant. Dependent on our love ones. Whether we know it or we dun. But really. What would happen if one day we have to face life ourselves? I dunno. I certainly cant imagine life without my family. I certainly cant.
Boyfie.. Can I imagine life without him? I dunno that either. But one thing I know for sure, I dun wanna lose him. I dun want having to be away from him. I dun want to lose him. Period..
Boys, they come and go. Some I fell in love with, some I believe are just infatuation and some, lets just say they are monkey love. They came into my life. No matter how big of a jerk they are or no matter how bad they have made me suffered, I thank them for making me into a better human, a stronger girl. Why am I saying this?
I’ve had thought about this. And thought about this hard. I’ve had many guy friends and these are seldom misunderstood as me being a player. I do flirt around at times but well, who doesn’t? Now, I have a boyfriend. A guy I truly love. A guy I believe dgn kehendak Allah can make me a happier self. A guy I wanna spent the rest of my life with. And a guy I never wanna lose. Why is it that we only met now? A question I seldom ask myself. But I guess I’ve got the answer.
Before I met you, I was not the best I could be. Experience and past incident made me who I am today. I may still not be the best in the world. But I am at my very utmost best when I am with you. Happiest day or not.
I am sorry I can’t be the best friend, the best daughter, the best sister, the best girlfriend to those I love but I have learnt that nobody can ever be perfect. I am just trying to be the best I could to being near perfect.
I have left my past. Left whoever in that past. I have moved on but I cannot do it if I keep getting obstacles along the way. I cannot do it if the people I love keep reminding me of it.
I love everyone. Even those who hate me.
But I love my family and boyfriend more. Because no matter how bitchy or bad or nasty they are at times, they never fail to back me up. Being by me all the time.
Boyfie, we had tons of arguments. Lots of fighting. I am sorry I can never be perfect.
