when it all came crashing down.. it dies

I am no longer happy.

I drag myself to places.. I don't want to face people. And  I am not happy about everything. I get flustered about everything. I get defensive over everything. I get pissed off if someone say something that irritates me,.. Even if a little bit.

I dunno what happen to me.
I know I've pissed my bestfriend off. bcoz everytime he says something, I'll just shrug it off and say  'ntah'. The one infamous deadly word. 'NTAH'

It is hard. And my head is agreeing to my mood. How i hurts every now and then. How it drains out my everything.

Idk what I should do.. Should I pursue my happiness elsewhere? Or is this a very big obstacle I need to overcome. Either way, it is not easy.. Never easy.

All I do is hope that this streak ends soon. Eventhough deep down I dunno how that is going to happen if I dun do anything. It feels like right now, I need people to take decision away from me and make it for me.

Living life based on decisions made for you is easier than having to think of what to do and be fearful that it is the wrong choice ever made.

My bday is coming..

Hello saying..

Today is the 11^th. So.. That means that tomorrow is 12^th and it is my BIRTHDAY!!!!

 YAYYY! 

Alhamdulillah..

Lets not get too happy. Its not tomorrow yet. Haha

Like every other year, I will sit and think about what I have achieved the last year and then the bigger scale, thinking about what I have achieved in the 26 years of my life.

I would think that I have not gotten or done much. But in fact, I had done quite a few things I am proud of.

In shaa Allah by my next birthday next year, I can include getting my degree as an achievement that I have accomplished.. I harap2 sangat to get the degree. Because that is the one more thing where I can share that moment ngan my parents and see them so proud and happy.

Ok.. I ade keje.. Later when I free, I will write again ok sayang..

The beauty of it all

Hey Bloggy

Just a few things:

-Exams

-Career

-Wedding

-House

Hehe.. Just 4 things but they all also happen to be the 4 big things in my life right now. 

I am still finding a job. Sending in my resumes.. But on off ah. Kadang-kadang tu mcm malas da nak carik keje lagi..Hahaha.. Asek no calls aje..

My exams are coming tapi like every other semester, I am not really very confident. YET! But it is going to be fine I hope. In Shaa Allah.

My house.. Hmm.. We wait for June for selection and then we see how it goes from there. I macam hoping that we successful.

Wedding..!!! Hahaha... This one is taking up most of the space in my head. The tunang will say ' I pikir banyak2 mcm ade byk sgt bende nak kene buat gitu'

Well darling, theres alot to do..  Orang laki kan. They ingat senang je la kot. -.-

I am in the midst of planning everything out. Thinking of a few places or vendors, pikir kan backups incase yang I want sume takde. I have yet to pikir exactly how and what I want my wedding to look like. I have a rough idea tapi belom fully confirm la.. Skali nyer wedding kan, so I nak everything to be perfect. Walaupon my wedding takde la grand mane.. Biase biase je kot. But it has to run smoothly.

Things to take note on:

-Bridal

-Photographer and cinematography

-Catering and Decoration

-Transport

-Entertainment

-Wedding Car

-Berkat

-Hantaran

-Baju for my family

-My bridesmaids and what they wearing

-KADI

-A few other small small things but super important( sirih2 thingy, pulut)

I think orang tak pernah ade problem thinking about their bridesmaid tapi for me.. Thats one of my problem before everything started. Haha.. Macam takot je ape yang I nak sume tak dapat.. Soon nanti I go propose la. Hahaha..

Ok.. Got to go now sayang.. Lets hope that everything is going fine and smooothly ook..:)