Tqah is apologising

I am too tired from BMTC visit today..Too tired..And now I wonder how those NS man endure such tiredness..Well,not that I'm totally clueless about it but its just that knowing that those men has to endure the trip to ferry terminal and waiting for the ferry and the same trip when they want to book out.Wow!!*Salute..Hhaha.And so anyway,it was true fun all the way to Tekong and back.And to boyfie,I did not do anything naughty ok?Haha
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For now,I can only say that I'm too tired for everything.I'm tired of being that centre/middle person and caught up with problems caused by other people.

Sure,I'm not the best friend people want.I'm not the understanding one people seek but why is it that people can't accept me for me.I've been keeping things too much that sometimes,I scare myself to wanting it so badly to vomit my feelings out.But still I know noone is there to bother to listen to me.Well,hadn't I always been the one to listen?I never asked for anyone to tell me anyway but its just that my quietness doesn't mean I dun mind anything.

So,now..I'm gonna do this for once..I'm sorry for all the pain and wrongs I've done to people around me..To just whoever who think I've cause pain to.Be it intentionally or accidentally.To those who think that I don't deserve your forgiveness then,I dunno what else to do to convince you.Maybe I'll just die and go to hell since I dun get forgiveness from everyone.Again,I'm sorry.Never once in my mind,did I ever thought of instill-ing pain to anyone.

I shall not say anything about myself.Because my feelings were never a want-to-know thing by anyone.I'm being pissed at,I'm being angry at,I'm being disappointed at by just anyone just as they want but me?I'm never entitled to do such a thing.Haa..Its' ok..If it makes people feel betterto blame me,then I shall take the blame.I've always been.So,it shouldn't be any problem right?

Yan..I need you now..I need you so much.