Get up and grow

I choose to be random*

I am a happy person because I chose to. Not that I don't have truckloads of things in my mind but its just that I think I'm fortunate enough because I know how to handle my problem at the right given time and people. This few days,my mood hasnt been all that great but still,I smiled my sincerest smile and talk with my sweetest voice.Why? The same old reason,I think you people malas nak dengar da. So..What makes my mood so off? Most of it, its caused by those people around me.They affect my mood.. Haiz. Is it so difficult to put a happy cheerful front for a while.? Is it impossible to just forget about the problem awhile and enjoy life as it is? Its not the end of the world yet if things go wrong..

Right now, things are too complicated for me.Thats because its all not sorted out.No clear indications No clear status No clear explanations.. This is not what I meant when I say 'its ok'. Because this certainly is not ok living in complications and confusion. If this is not what is good then get it off. I am tired controlling tears and putting up an 'ok' expression.Im tired of saying 'cmon' when your only reaction is gonna be something like 'forget it'. So,why am I putting too much effort in something which doesnt concern me,or something which I am playing such a small part in. 1 thing I can say right now is, I am tired.

But still despite all.I am still smiling because I hope by doing so,I could make others,people like you feel lived up again.Feel that you are important and needed. Ask yourself,do you feel like that everytime you hear my voice? Everytime you see me? I doubt so..But despite being heartbroken and sad seeing such state of yours, I tell myself that I cannot show my weaknesses because right now I need to be strong for you. Dammit!! Do you even know or thought of that? Hmm..

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So..its much appreciated if people dun be too k-po and ask me about this post alright.I am just writing on my online diary..I wont answer if you ask me.Or you want a shutup from me,you ask la.But I know I can get very pissed if you bring this up. And also..You people jangan nak perasan that this post is for you people ok..Only me my self and I know who I am referring to..