mama and baba

I was reading naqiah's notes on FB when I realised that we actually have the same childhood..

Since young,I was brought up very very very strictly.Both by my mum and dad.They always beat and scolded me for all the things I did wrong eventhough I am still so young.

I remembered,everytime I stomped my feet when I dun like something,they will take anything they can get within reach and hit my feet many many times until I cry and promised I wont do it again.That happens for so many times and the same promises was made everytime I was beaten.

When I was in primary school,my mum always fetched me everyday.If I were to take the school bus,she will be there on the kitchen window waiting for us.Whenever I forgot to bring something to school,I would call and she would always come to bring it for me.

Countless times when I fall sick she will always be by me taking care of my every welfare,asking all the time if I am alright.

Now.At the age of 19.She still does sent me off to the doorstep when I want to go to school or work or just out with friends.SHe still accompany me to see the doctor when I fall sick.She still help to iron my clothes when I am late.,She still will help pack my bags when I am late.She still constantly remind me of all my daily agenda.She still says good luck to me when I am going for a test,exam,interview or presentation.She still asked me how my papers were after every exam.And now,she wakes up every morning just to pack for me food to bring to work.

Now,I prefer to keep quiet when she is angry.Now,I dun stomp my feet anymore when I am upset.My mum,she does instill that in me..

My dad.He has always been working.He is only 40 but he already looked tired and old.He is working too much but it is all for us.His family.I am so very sure that he never thought of his health and tiredness when he go to work in the middle of the night.

Dad work as a marine technician and I am so very proud of that,He used to asked me 'arent you ashamed telling ur friends I worked as that?' and with a stern expression I said 'No!' Why would I be ashame if thats where he got his money to provide us with.Everytime when he will talk about boats and ships and all,he will always talk proudly about him doing this and that.So,I have no reason at all to be ashamed.

He always gets calls in the middle of the night or when he is out with us to get back to work at this this this time.And MOST of the time,he will go and take up the job..It doesnt matter what time he has to work.When all of us are fast asleep,he is at werk alone doing all his work.

I always get what I want whether its sooner or later.And all,are from my parents.They always try to make us happy by getting what we want but I think I havent really been a very very good daughter to accept all they have done for me.Daddy always call me during my IAP to check on me because he know that I am all alone here.And trust me,to have him call and hear his voice makes me happier more than anything else.When I look at something expensive with eyes that says I really really want it,daddy will asked me to go get it but I will always turn it down if its too expensive.Sometimes I realise I just aint a good girl to deserve what we wants to give me.The other time at Msia,mumy gave me a bag.I looked inside and saw 3 formal wear and when I looked at the receipt,I really really feel like crying,I already had tears in my eyes.It was in Ringgit but I was just touched that daddy actually went to a shop to shop for his daughter's formal wear and he did get all the nice and perfect size for me.

Though I dun show it,I always wished this. I want to grow up fast.I want to work fast and I want to dedicate my life for my parents.I want dad to stop working soon enough.I want to be the one to worry about the bills and expenses.I want to be the one to give them the money for their daily usage.I want him to stop worrying about everything,I want to see him start looking like his age back..I want to know that every second he is safe at home with us,his family.

I may not be the best daughter.And I may not be all that filial but I am trying to be.I wanna spend all my earning on them.Since I cant show them gratitude in any other way,I chose this path.I want them to live their lives easily and healthily.I want them to sleep when its night time and I wake up when its daylight.I dun want them to worry about anything.If they were the one who took care of me when I was little,i want to be the one to take care of them now.

I am 19 but I am not ashame to say that I still do ask for kisses from them and I also still kiss them..For I feel that their kisses mean and feel something way significant and special than any other thing.I will always love and remember my parents.Eventhough I kept really really quiet about everything,I see all their sacrifices and what they have done for us. I am where I am now because of them.I pray and thank ALLAH I am granted such wonderful parents.

As I am writing this and thinking about all the great things they have done for me,I teared.I was thinking that I havent done enough to repay their kindness.I love them so much..I really really do so much...