sob sob

Unlike the other few days,today I am not feeling too tired..Basically because I woke up 3 or 4 times in the morning..And every time I woke up,I checked my hp..Baby,you should know why..

So..I was sleeping soundly when I was awaken by the noises made by mum and sis and grandma..They were talking about something and bro soon woke up and went to them..I was awake but my body wasn't..So I was still lying like a log when everyone else was panicking and screaming..Actually..Given the situation that happened justnow,just anyone with a fullly-properly-functioned brain would wake up and see whats happening but given my too lazy body and eyes, ignored and try to go to sleep..Until some minute later mummy came to the room and asked me to wake up because my very last and the very small kitty gave birth to another 4 small kitties..Yeap,I know I should woke up earlier but I was too lazy to.So I get up and sat down on the mattress for another 10 mins before I get myself fully awake...

Aunt(whose cat ever gave birth) came over in a matter of minutes after mum called her over..Those cleaning and taking and putting processes made and not even once did I enter the scene..Firstly because I wasn't fully fully awake..Secondly,I dun think I can handle looking at my small kitty suffer and thirdly,too many people at scene and I dun want to give more fear to poor kitty.And so,now shes inside a cage with 3 of her 'child'.1 of them died..Miscarriage they said and I'm still wondering..

And now looking at her in the cage with those 3 very small(like rat) little thing.I am feeling something..Something I dun really know what to describe as.Mummy and daddy want to give them all away together with my kitty..I dunno.I havent protest and say anything about it but bro has protest it but to no avail..I dunno..I dun want my kitty gone.I look at her meowing whenever we're near and seeing her so helpless like that,I could only feel like crying.Imagine a 9-10 year old girl pregnant with triplets.A girl who know nothing about life yet and a girl you've been holding with love alll the time..A girl who can only play and play and have not yet have enough chilldhood trapped in motherhood.Not that I'm saying my kitty was trapped only that it seems like that..I'm crying now!

i think I should just stop now..