Difficulty

How unfair life gets ya?


I am not talking about my life but about everything in general. About everything that is happening right before my eyes. People facing problem and feeling like the world has come crushing down on me. Well, I am not commenting nor am I judging. For I am not in any of the situation. Maybe I am facing such problem but every case has a different scenario.

It was never easy. We all thought of the perks being trusted, we all thought of the fun it brings holding on to someone’s secret, but fact is.. They were never easy.

There are things in life I wished I didn’t know. I wished I never ever had the hint of knowing. Because the pain and hurt of knowing suck.. Who can you talk to? Who can you share your problems with when it’s a SECRET you are holding on to.

I have no idea if I am doing the right thing. It will be another story entirely if I reject. My.. Why is this getting too difficult.

One thing I have to remember, “Allah takkan menguji umatNye lebih dari kemampuan mereke”

The world is round

Nothing seems to be in my favour recently.. Nothing..

Was thinking about the online shop so many times and it kinda set me back a little bit. Its kinda draining my confidence in believing this would actually work.

Losing all faith and confidence. Right about now, I am not so sure if giving it all up is the solution or be patient and go along with it. Posting and researching and see if theres finally any result out?

I dunno.. I dun quite know the way out here. What should I really do? Continue? I build this up like my baby and to just give up and stop doing it is killing me. Really killing me.. I wanna continue but for how long more should I drain my energy, money and enthusiasm before this will actually start to kick off..

I am not complaining because i know rezeki datangnyer dari Allah. HE knows better and is planning something for me along the way. Just that I am not sure what. Its kinda depressing for me to be guessing this everytime. Its painful.

Work? I am losing interest in work. Waking up in the morning is a drag.. Dragging my feet to work is just torture. I dunno for sure what the reason was for this bad attitude but something for sure, nothing interest me anymore. But hey, they say 'Kerja itu ibadah', need to do it. The reason why I am persevering through. I am even thankful for still having a job.. When I can actually have lost it times and times again so easily..A wonder why I am still here when the company is not doing so good.

Just applied for school last week. I have to wait for so long for the result. I am kinda nervous but then again, I am just hopeful that it gets approved. The faster I get this done and over with, the more relieved I will find myself to be. Selagi tak ade degree dalam tangan, selagi tu hidup tak aman. Insyaallah for the approval.

Ok.. Thats it for now.. Got to go.. :) Love you bloggy..

And, love you baby..