Im ready..or..m i not?

I am ready for 2008..
I am ready for a new life
I am ready to live life the hard way
I am ready to be hurt again
I am ready to give my care and concern
I am ready to cry again
I am ready to use that 3 words again

Some may ask whats wrong with me and this post.Haha..Its just random.Its something I've been asking myself the whole day today.
Am I falling again over sweet talks or am I really falling because I am sure of it.Its dumb I know but I have a soft heart you see.So its normal for me..Hah..

Question of the day:Am I really ready for it?

Shy!(I think)

Do you believe in horoscopes? I do..Actually 50-50 la..haha

Today was the day I actually sat in front of my lappy to do my 6 page website.Unfortunately, I cannot finish them all today because I need to find a video and I need to take pictures of my family.Thats basically what happen to me today la..

"When a change is necessary, it is necessary. Stop ignoring the way you're feeling."
Ok.I got this thing up there from my friendster daily horoscope.Since the day things turn out badly between me and him,the horoscope have always been tell ing me the exact same thing that I am feeling on that particularly day.Recently,it wasn't really that true but I was shocked by the one today.Just when I thought I would forget that person already for today,I had to go and read the horoscope and think of him all over again.Wa'hhh!!!Ive been asking myself that question justnow,no matter how much I would want to deny it,I would have to say that theres a pull there.And I seriously don't want things to happen again.Man.Why does it always have to be so complicated when it comes to this kind of thing.

So long people..Btw Zura..you're missed.obviously by us..

They won!!

Firstly,Congratulation to Betara Karisma for getting the 2nd place in Khatulistiwa.Congrats to Hairi for getting the best karut award.The paluan ppl for the best paluan award and also for getting the seni kate harapan or best(i dunno which one).I am really really happy for you guys.really!I had fun yesterday.Really had fun.It was tiring,obviously but it was very enjoyable and since this is the first time I actually went to support for such event,I would say,it was quite well done and I seriously didn't know that there are still many people out there who are still active in seni.Good good..

Met Ina at Ngee Ann Poly yesterday when I was queuing up to get in.Really didn't expect to see her there but she is from the dikir barat team in Innova..So it wasn't so shocking to see her there..

Hmm...Zura,you are missed by us.Hhaha.

Went to Toa Payoh after that with family and then off to Pasir Ris to eat and then to the fishing pond and then headed home.It was almost 12 by the time I reach home and for goodness sake,I was so tired la..Haha..But overall,yesterday was a very memorable and a very enjoyable day..

Congrats again guys..Now,lets just let the pic says its piece k..

They were very happy..Really really happy

He won the best karut.

my siblings getting bored

Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha to every Muslim who are celebrating this event yesterday.

Yesterday was another unforgettable day for me.Woke up so early in the morning to help Mum in he kitchen and to do whatever else that I have to do that morning.

All the shop yesterday was closed and Mum had no idea how is gonna get her supplies of potatoes and onions so Dad suggested the wholesale market.That was my first time there and there were really alot of things.After buying all Mum's stuff,we went to IMM...Yea..!!!Yesterday was the first time I stepped my feet in the mall.It was nothing like I expected.There were lots and lots of shops and it was so nice la..Took some pictures.Hhaha..Went to giant to shop for many things and then we went to eat but I didnt eat alot.Haiz..Hhaha..But I really had fun..

From the view inside

The lighting decoration


The tree

Tomorrow is the guy's day.Khatulistiwa,Dikir Barat Competition.God luck to all you guys and go all the way ya..Good Luck..

yea!!

I know it is abit late for this but Congratulation Hady Mirza..Hhaa..I knew you would get that title as Asian Idol.Man,I am so happy for your achievement.You did awesomely well.And Taufik Batisah,his song is so.....nice...Compose more!!haha

I finished my Personal Development.Yea..yea..yea.yea..yea...1 project down..2 more to go..Programming and html!

I miss ky..!!!papa..!!!hahahaha...dun wonder people..!Man,how I wish I can go and have my holiday with him there..Jakarta sey..Well ky,if you are gonna read this..I miss you and I am sure the rest are too..

Zura..I know you want to go take picture with the X'mas tree..Hhaa..Know what.You are talking about it so much that I think me to wanna go take picture with it.Seriously,now I am in the mood of only cam-whoring..Hahah..

I am tired of all these things.Seriously am.Humans,get your fact right.I am writing this at random.I am tired of gossips and I am tired of sensitiveness..
mengapa begitu sukar untuk semuanya mengerti?
apakah hidup ini hanya dijalani dengan apa yang dilihat?
dengan apa yang didengar?
bukankah harus kita mengerti dan memahami sesuatu perkara itu?

mengapa manusia hanya gemar mengata?
mengapa manusia hanya gemar mendengar kata2 orang?
adakah malas untuk bertanya sebuah alasan untuk kita berbuat demikian?
adakah ianya adil untuk si mangsa?

mengapa manusia begitu suka berbual di belakang?
mengapa tidak berterus terang sahaja?
mengapa tidak ditanya sahaja dengan yang empunya diri?
mengapa lebih suka menanya pada yang kurang faham..yang kurang tahu?

takut?
adakah takut akan menjadi alasannya?
mengapa manusia hanya takut pada dunia?
mengapa tidak difikir langsung tentang akhirat?

mengapa begitu suka melakukan?
mengapa pula kita berang jika diperlakukan?

berhentilah wahai saudara ku.
ingatilah masa akan datang
sesungguhnya hidup ini adil
hidup kita tidak sentiasa tenang
ombak akan mendatang juga

Im tired!!

Fantastic!!

Hahha..I had fun today with my family..

Who says we need money to have fun?Well,my family don't.

Today,the Hafiz's family and a neighbour aka my bro's friend aka my bro's schoolmate went to...I can't remember where..Wait,let me think..*******Oh ya..forget.We went to northpoint earlier today to shop for Dinie's school stationery.And that was the place,I found out that Illustrator's and Photoshop's software were sold there for a good price.Am gonna buy those when I got the money.Muahaha..

Then,we went to for I dunno what reason.I think the reason why Dad brought us there was because he wanted to show us that place.He said that the place holds many history and he shows us the longest graveyard justnow.I duno who it belongs to but it is long.As we walk along the path which is beside the forest,I can already feel the breeze.Man,I love the breeze.iT WAS REALLY COOLING LA.We walk and walk and talk and talk..And I took photos.Haha.mostly is of me.hehe..

Then went to eat at Changi village and bla bla bla...We just went around.Seriously, today I can just feel the satisfaction I have never feel before.After eating,decided to went home but Dad brought us all to Lower Seletar where me,Izzati and Mum sat on the ground like nobody's business and laugh and laugh and laugh at each other's nonsense.Haha..Hilarious..

When home to finish up my personal development report and ya..its done.Yea....!!!As I wa doing my work,Mum came in to inform that we are all going to out to get me a new phone.Well,well..I've got the $100 waiver..Haha..And there I go..Hoping I coul get the phone that I want but as expected there are exceptions.And the only phone which was available were the Samsung and Nokia phone.As I have forgotten how to use a Nokia phone,I got myself a Samsung phone.It looks just like Dad's but I like it..

Thanks Ma,Ba for the phone eventhough you don't have to pay a single cent for it but thanks for the ride and also the time you two spent for me..Appreciate ir alot..Ok..Now,let me just post some pictures I took todae k.But without the new phone..

Bro and neighbour

Mum,Dad and Sis

I dunno why he smile that way




Pardon the pathetic face.HAHA


Me,Mum and Sis sitting on the ground

Thank you

Firstly,I am so sad that I couldn't go out with them today.I am so sorry korang.Really-really sorry.

Ok.Yes again,I have to stay at home to wait for Dad to come home.Decided to just read the html book but I can feel that my head is gonna explode if I put in anymore input.So,I decided to face the screen of my lappy again.By now,I am sure everyone can guess what I have been doing with my lappy,right?Ya,I went to youtube in search of more of Mujhse Dosti Karoge's movie clip.I so wanna watch that movie.Anyone,if you are reading this and you happen to have the dvd,please2 tell me k..I need to borrow them.

Chatted with a friend justnow and he just wanted to inform me that he had uploaded my singing video to his youtube site.Man,I appreciate that alot because I have been wanting to listen to myself sing that song.And crap,I sound soooo not nice,..Hahaa..Is it the recording?or is it me?waaaa''''....

Next,chatted with Aameer.The purpose of chatting with him is just to chat.But again,I feel a sense of calmness and I am really2 happy.He never fails to make me smile whenever I am down.Well,Meer,what I told you justnow is real.Heee...Thanks friend.

Now,as I am sitting down here at home updating my blog,I am still feeling abit worried about all my projects and assignments.Haiz.Let's see..

1.Personal Development Report 2.Personal Development presentation 3.HTML website 4.Programming(Tank Calculation) 5.VB's assignment lab 6 and 7

That is alot of work for 2 weeks break.But what to do..Well..well..Ok.Now..Since it has been so long since I last update my blog with photos,I am gonna find whatever photos I can chuck on this blog ya..

The guy who's always making me smile(without him realizing it):

I am sorry for not being able to make it

hee

Still in the bollywood mood..Weeeee..!!!!

Remember

To the precious people I have in my life

Bollywood mood

And ya again,I am listening to bollywood.Man,this is sick.Fancy listening to Bollywood at this period of time.Well..well,but I studied you know.I am just loving it.Listening to their songs and getting the mood and feeling..weeeeee..

Ok,was at Zura's house today to study.After 4 hours,we realized that we have only covered like only 1 week's lecture.Haha..and we have got like 8 more weeks to go la.Hakzz..But good thing,we manage to understand and concentrate on the one week.

Almost 6 when i realized that my study mood had disappear so,I went youtube to download for Bollywood's song.Hahahahaha..And I got myself 4 songs.Happy you know.Thanks Zura for the connection.

Guess I am now in the Bollywood's mood.Haha..There is just this feeling in me that is so funny la.I keep on daydreaming whenever I plug this earpiece to my ear and listening to the songs..But,my hero is missing.I dunno who..Serious.I couldn't even think of one person to take that place or,maybe there is..Haha..well,he have got the Indian blood you know.Wakaaka..haha..

Funny,how the brain works.And ya,I think I better stop blabbering.Hee.I just love my life lots and I love every single one who have once enter my life,or are still in my life.

*Zura,thanks for everything justnow

WT....!!

People may think that it is a small issue but it is a big one for me.A very big one.Guy,you really kill my respect for you.You really did.So the next time I am rude to you,accept it!That "thing" means alot to me but you gave it to someone else,that something you have already gave to me.It hurts alot and I hate you fpr doing so!Well,I know it is up to you and it is a free country but due to some respect,think about it la eh!!!

I didn't expect this to happen but you seriously make it happen!I am frustrated,pissed,disappointed and thousands of other mixed feelings.To cry for such things again is seriously not something I would want to do again.But you make those precious tears almost fall again.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

What bullshit is this? Never promise if you cannot keep it!Never!!!


*It is much appreciated if I won't be questioned about this post
To those who didn't like what I am writing here,Im so sorry but since this is my blog,I have the right to write what I want.

feeling wonderful

Hee..to those people who think that writing a comment is difficult,I have the tag board up already so please feel free to tag.Zura,this blog is incomplete so pleeeeaaaasssseee help me finish up this blog so that it can show its 'face' to other people.Hahaha..Ok.

Been busy with school and everything.Exams just around the corner and I have yet to have everything in my brain.But I will.Don't worry folks!Dikir has been great.And my health is getting a bit better but I do get tired very very easily.

Life has been great.Thank HIM for it.

psssttt:Zura I know you hate this kind of post.It doesnt make sense but I am so lazy ryt now..
giler-geng:hahaa..can't wait to see the band

crying!!

I'm crying.Waaaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaahhhhaaaa..

So sad.It has been so long since this happen and wen it happen again,all I can do is watch and cry.Call me emotional.I don't care but it shows that I have got a heart.

Didn't have the mood to study today so I decided to just listen and transferring songs to my lappy.And the theme for today is Bollywood.Was listening songs from the movie 'Mujhse dosti karoge' and it was sooooooo sweet la. And then remembered about the DVDs in my cupboard which are collecting dust.So,i took them and watch them in my lappy.Watch 'Har Dil Jo Pyaar Karega' at first and I find it normal.Then,watched 'Chori chori Chupke chupke'..I was listening to their songs while watching the movie and it was ok until it came to the last part.And that is when I realise that theres tears streaming down my cheeks..haha..It was so emotional la.And ya,I just have to cry.Waaaaaahhh!!!

(sorry for the blur)

Time to think!

I've realized that I have got no power and that my energy is limited.

I've realized that love concerns 2 party not 1.
I've realized that life is for once and not for subsequent times
I've realized that when things go wrong,the first person you will find is your mum(i did).
I've finally realized that no matter how irritated you are with your family,you will still go back home

When things go wrong,all I want to do is curl up and cry.
When problem arises,I would only want to push everything aside.

*I want to but I can't because I live my life and if I neglect them,who is gonna finish them?

Missing!

I wanna go back to Northland.I miss each and everyone of my friends there.Why can't secondary and poly just be at the same school.? Ya,i saw fazilla ,jenmark, syafizah and joanne almost all the time in NYP but its very2 different from the other time.I miss you guys from 4EA all the way to the technical class and also the sec 5 and can i say everyone there are in Northland.?
I miss Jessica,Syafizah and Joanne who have always been there listening to my craps and always being my shoulder to cry on.I miss Sheila,jenmark,mahes and Fazilla who have always brighten up my days with their jokes.I miss all my NPCC mates.I miss my cadets because they were the one who have always make me happy in any situation.I miss the teachers who have always come to class shouting or smiling.I miss my sistaz liyana,Shikin and Salina.They are the bestest friend I can ask for..I miss the sec5s who have always been disturbing and teasing me.I miss Rafiq so much.The one guy who make me smile all the time and the guy who have always treat me with respect.And i miss everyone else.
I want my secondary life back.Can i have them?

I think I think too much and that is the reason why I am in this state now.Running nose with a terrible throat pain and a headache.I want to sleep but I can't because I've still got my PD project to finish up.And now here I am in school,putting on my headphones and listening to a blasting music.Arggggghhh..I am in pain.

Just get a new story.His operation is on 7 December instead.I thought my misery had come to an end but no,it has to be postponed.He is clearly with someone else now and it looks like he loves her alot. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

*I am confused

Why?

Why does bad fortune always befall human? It happens many time in this lifetime of mine and as a human,all I can do is to pray and patience.Sometimes I am bored with bad fortune.Sometimes I am pissed but nothing will change.Dinie is suppose to go to KK hospital today for his check up.I just got a message from mum who says that Dad is now in hospital,emergency.I hate the word EMERGENCY!!!I panic like hell!Hope Dad is not admitted to hospital.Can i work???????

Raudha,I am sorry ya.I will miss dikir today and that is for sure.And I will definitely miss you guys.Haiz.But I will just have to give it a miss for today.I know you understand right?Thank you babe. Arrgggghhhh....

Can I just shout? Well,I just did.Thank goodness I am situated at a pond in NYP..I can released my tension.Hahahahahaha..Well,enough about that.This is like the first time I spend time at the pond here and I am soooooo happy!Right zura,Halifah?Its beautiful?Very2 beautiful.To me lah but I dunno about others view and yeah,I dun care about what they think.. Ok.I think Im gonna go now because I am crapping.So i shall go before the condition worsen.

Mother Nature

Today

Hello..
Lets write ya.Actually I have got no mood today to do anything but was in class and was thinking about when the school will end when Halifah and Zura told me that we have got only like 16 weeks of school for 1 semester.I was so shocked as I felt like it has only been a month when i restart school and now is week 7 already.I immediately take note of all the assignments I have to hand in and I realized that I have not done alot of them.Of course,I panic and stay back after school to do them.Now,i had finished doing most of them.Thank goodness..

I have been counting days to the 30th.I dunno why I even bother to do them but I did.Most of my time nowadays were spend on thinking about him.Guys,its not that "that" kind of think..Its just concern.I cant stop myself from being concern.I tried to avoid discussions about him but I cant because people love to ask and I have to answer them.Laugh at me my dear peeps..I miss him!!

Didn't really spent much time with my giler-geng today because was busy doing my assignments.Sorry girls.But you girls know I always love you all.Haha..Liana and Raudha,I hope the both of you did well for your presentation.Zura,sorry for not talking that much to you at the later part of the day.I'm in the state of panicking.

Zura,please dun malu me anymore in front of Farhan.Crapp!!I was so shocked when you told me the reason why he said thank you..And An,you dun have to listen to everything Zura said.

To my family,I love all of you.So much..Thanks for everything.My bro and Mum,please get well soon.To dad,your absence at home is always felt.I appreciate all your hard work.To my sis,your the best sis I can ever ask for.

To my sistaz Liyana,Shikin and Ina.I love you girls always.Even if we were to ever break,I will love you 4.

To my MCG friends,you guys gave me the best time in NYP.I will forever treasure that.

To my giler-geng,you girls mean everything to me here.Thanks

Awesome

Today was like wonderfully,splendidly,greatly,awesome,enjoyable day.I really had fun with some of the MCGians.See,I am never down when I am around them because they always brighten those moments of mine.HAHA..

ok..ok..Back to today..Went to try out for Dikir Barat girls just now with Zura and met those wonderful usual people.We were like all shouting at the top of our voice just to meet the pitch that Zai gave us.It was soooo0000ooo high and some of us cannot take it la..But we did fairly well.Guys,you should be proud of us girls because we can do it!But still,you guys are the best(because korang train for so long already)..After the training,most of them stopped at Yishun to eat.I seriously had fun eating with you guys because only our table was the noisiest one.I intended to go home after the meal but due to some persuasion,I stayed with Elly,Farhan,Aameer,Dok and Khaiman at MACDONALD.We watched the video for our production and we had a good laugh.You guys were so funny la.

Went back with Farhan and Aameer taking 800 and they accompany me all the way in the bus.Hee.Sorry but thanks ya.We talked about stuffs and btw,our conversation hasn't finish k..

To anyone who understands: I think I am falling again****

*Your smile brighten up my day
Your look discomfort me all the way..

Friends

Who says friends means nothing in life??

In this life,I am always blessed with good friends.I am happy I met them even for once in this lifetime and it cant be denied I've got bad company and betrayer behind my back too.But I shall just take the good ones ya.?When I was just a girl in primary school,I didn't know that much about friendship but I have got great friends whom I am still keeping in touch with up till now.In secondary school,the period when my life is just about to start,I am exposed to alot of bad companies but along the way,I met many friends whom I am proud to cal company.

Now,here I am in poly.I am exposed to many kind of people around SINGAPORE.These friends made me realize how valuable friendship are and I've learn alot from them.Thank you guys.

So now,let me just say what drives me to writing this post.It was when I saw Zura,Liana and Raudha laughing and enjoying each other's company earlier this afternoon.I was fascinated by how a friendship can make someone's life brighter.It certainly make mine.

Here is a picture of the people who has never fail to put a smile on my face:







You guys are loved.

Done!!

At last,the production has ended.But I actually felt a little sad.i wonder when will be the next time all of us will meet each other again.Now is like the time to concentrate in class and do well in our studies.I am definitely going to miss all these people.I love you MCGians.

Yesterday had been great!Went to school early in the morning to have breakfast with those dearest friends of mine.The meal was ......... "Fried bee hoon"..haha.Ok.We went to TFA and that was when everything starts.Everybody was so busy doing their part to make the production a success and as for me and Zura,we helped Ros in doing the props.I was so happy when I saw her tying square lashing.I offered to help and Zura helped out too.Hee..Zura, you passed the test.Production started at around 8 and obviously,we were all so nervous including the tarian people.We all did well eventually.I was really-really satisfied with my singing and I am happy that everyone really enjoy the show.

MCGians,u all did your best and I am very sure the audiences enjoy our performance.Jannah,thanks for having that faith in me.Zura,Wani,Liana-Baby,Liyana-B,Raudha,Syimah,Ros,Elly,Ismael,Hasbi,Faizal,Jamal,Ky and Farhan,thank you for calming me down whenever I am about to sing.I truly appreciate that.And for the rest of the MCGians,thank you for everything.You guys did well,worked well and performed well.

All the sweats,blood,tears and pain are all worth it.

Production!!

Production is tomorrow.!!I feel like all of us start practicing only like..yesterday?This time,the production is really2 fast.I can't seem to be catching up with my own breathe.Nervous..Nervous..Nervous..I feel that I have not succeed in doing my role splendidly and I am clearly still having problems with my singing.And the production is tomorrow..Can I ask for a guardian angel??hee

Ok..To start things off,I went to training today and obviously I didn't stay over with all my other mates.It was already bad that I had to go home alone but as I was on the way out from NYP,my slipper actually "putus".And there I was,like an idiot having to walk all the way to the bus stop to get a bus instead of the MRT.Actually,mum told me to take the cab but I was scared and a cab will cost me $10 and I have got no money left because I have spend it on something else earlier to release my stress.!!wweee!!I finally got home and thank goodness nothing bad happened to me.

Unlike any other day,I was extremely hyper today at home.I was shocked but I couldn't control myself.Gave sister 1 of the 3 perfume I bought just now as her belated birthday present(at least I dun have to feel so guilty now).Showed mum my new mcg shirt and once again I complain because its a guy's cutting.Actually it is alright but its just my mouth that couldn't just keep quiet for a minute..hee..the shirts fine actually.I kinda like it but i prefer the first one.haha..

I just pray and hope that tomorrow's event will be a blast and a very successful one.Hope everyone did well in their role and may our dearest audience feel the satisfaction in watching our show.To mum,dad,sis and bro,the reasons why I am always late is because of the show.I want you guys to be proud of me.

To zura,thank you for forcing me to create this blog.Even though its like only you who is gonna read all the craps I am writing in here.haha..Thank you zura.





That's the picture we took on Tuesday.

Hearts

theres sum things i wanna tell these few ppl but i noe i couldnt tell them in person or directly..i will just let my soul tell this ppl..haha..nonsense.but here it goes:

kak long-thanks for all those never-ending advices you alwaes gave me..appreciate it alot.love ya
shikin-ur alwaes there..haha..sis forever dear.hope u have a wonderful year..love ya
ina-i dunno where u have gone to..i wanna sae we have gone apart but sumtyms i just dun have the heart to do so bcoz ur one of my sis..
zura-my mumy,bro,sis..haha..ur alwaes there.wel,not in relationship part,i noe i can never depend on u for that..haa.but thanks for being there
halifah-thanks for alwaes listening to my nonsense..haa
syamim/mimi-haha.i appreciate for making my life brighter will all ur nonsense.alwaes putting a smile on my face
hasbi/bibi-haha..!!hee..had fun wenever with u too.alwaes remember u guys
liana/lili-haha..had fun with u gerl..smile alwaes ya..thanks for inviting me to the bbq.wouldnt have a happy moment if i didn't go
raudha/roar2-u rawk man!haha.had fun lots2 la wenever with u all..haa
fadil-wenever i look at u,it reminds me of the orientation tym wen i fall sick.i ws really mesmerized by all the trouble u took..thanks man.
sue-haa,u too took care of me.im just grateful to have u guys in my life
rya-u have alwaes been my adek.be it bad or gd.i just dun see the commonness in us.n i certainly dun see the happy moments between us anymore

ros-my very gd fren..i appreciate it alot.thanks for still surviving for being with me.

hasyimah-very fun person to be with and always smiling with me
wani-had fun with u man..ur actually fun..hahaa..despite the fierce face in u..haa
farhan-hey..cant believe im actually seeing u again in nyp...
khai-alwaes giving me motivation in things im alwaes having doubts in doing..
aameer-made my life very happy with the jokes and alwaes distubing me.
jannah-always helping in my studies.haa..thanks for the book..and thanks for alwaes listening to my crap
syafizah-happy to see u alwaes in nyp
nazry-.hope u all the best for ur a's and may u achieve wat u want in life..best wishes with u and ur never forgotten
rafiq-it has been so long since we last met..wee!!where are you?