I should be happy.

Right now here I am sitting alone at Pastamania while my other halves are ordering their food.. My dear Jeff volunteered to ordered mine for me. :)

Well. My day was quite alright.. I am grateful that I am strong enough to control all the bad that comes my way. I am proud of myself for being able to stay patient and calm so as to not blow my top and burst to tears. I know I am strong enough for all this. I know I am strong enough to handle all problems that come my way. I have Allah..

So, actually I am quite excited that I am meeting my bunch of deary friends today, on a week which I am most down and low. They might not need to know what happened but they certainly know how to make me feel better and happier.. for that I thank them and Allah for crossing all our pathways with each other..

Ya Allah, sekirenyer jalan yang aku pilih  bukan Jalan yang engkau  tetapkan untukku, Kau berikan la aku kekuatan Dan petunjuk untuk membetulkan Arah hidupku. Kau berikanlah aku ketabahan untuk menerima yang baik untukku seperti yang telah Kau tetapkan untukku.. Sesungguhnya Hanya Kau yang Maha Mengetahui. Amin..

I dun regret life

Today's post are all about random stuffs..

Everybody have something they regret in life.. I am almost certain everybody do.. My point here is how exactly does one deal with this situation?

I remembered when I was 16..there was an incident that made me regret things.. Just one overseas trip and I lost my boyfriend.. I dunno what to regret about. The fact that I didn't follow the trip or because I was too trusting.. But then that's nothing big isn't it.

But what happened when you have something big you regret doing or not doing?

Haiz II

Who knows that love was so cruel-Christina Aguilera

My intention was good but you tried to make it bad. You made me sound so bitchy. So bad. It hurts. But what's priority now is letting yourself spout things so that you could hurt me so badly that it makes yourself feel so good and satisfied.. Well baby. I hope you were satisfied. What was this? What was my purpose to you? Am I really we'll deserving of all the scoldings,vulgarities and anger.

I am just a normal girl who wants to be happy with the guy who claim he loves me but why does it have to be so bad and difficult.. Am I doing what's right? Or I am just making things gets worst?  I used to be so confident of life and what needs to be done but it seems that you have sucked out all the confidence from me. How do I go on now without you, your support and your love. Your gentleness. It wasn't easy but all you want to believe is that it's easy for me and super hard for you.. If you feel that making such decision was an easy one then you are very wrong. Because never once would I want to utter such a thing to you. But guess what. Unsurprisingly, you never understood my intention.  

What should I do? Tell me

Dear Allah. Give me strength

Haiz

So. What's life?

Why can't I just have a peaceful life. With all whom I loved. Why is it that problem after problem just have to arise..

I m tired. Spiritually. Physically. Mentally and emotionally.

Haiz. I'm just at a loss about now.