Sorry

Due to some probs.I'm not gonna entertain any messages until 12 June..
Call for the inconvenience.


*I dunno what else I should do to make people happy..Haiz

Don't mess with me tonite alright!

The only reason why I'm not screwing anyone yet is because its still MAY..But I'm telling you people..I swear I was thinking about forgetting its May..So people,thank upon my stupidity that you people are save.!@#$%^&

So..Today wasn't a nice day..I'm too lazy too elaborate..

I can't wait for BMTC visit this coming Wednesday.Hehe..They said wear proper attire..But what's the proper attire?Hhaa..I only know one attire when people go Tekong..And that is Army uniform..Haha...I shall ask bf now!!Wait..Will be back.Ok..So,he said jeans and tshirt!I'll be planning my attire now..Actually not really now..SOON!!

Ok..I wan go do work already..Too much procrastinating!!

Today today..

Oh so I am in MCG room now..And my life messenger can't open up.Dumb Shit!I am having a convo with Rya..ANd shits!!This just had to happen in an important time..Shats!!

Ok..So...As some have read Zura's blog..Well,I am proud to say Technicolor was rated the best group in PICS class.Yes..I am proud..I seriously think highly of this presentation and fortunately it didn't fall and hurt me too damn much.So yeap..Congrats Technicolor!!Hah..

Next..I am suppose to do NAPFA today but then we plan on doing it next sem.Haa..Actually there was nothing wrong with me until this morning when I woke up..My whole body just have to ache all over..I am too aching everywhere..My leg is killing me..My shoulder is doubling killing me..Haiz!Pain nak mampos tau!!All the more I can't do NAPFA todae..So,next sem ya.Hahha..

I am super bored..And ya..Did I mention I finally met bf yesterday..Haha...Yeah,we met.So can't make record of 2 months..Haha..

Erm...Now,I am laughing like noone's mistake..Hha..

ok..Now I shall berambos..Hahha...

HEHE

My english is trash!

Yes,its already over today.So,my new day basically started suckishly.And lets see what tomorrow brings?!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!

Ok.So,I've regain all my conscience.I'm a new person now.Wee!!!

Lets talk about something now!!*Thinking*Thinking*Thinking*

Come.Lets ask myself ques..Lets have the head asking the heart question

Q) WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE DOING NOW?
A) DANCE AND DANCE AND DANCE AND LOSE CONTROL!!

Q) WHO IS THE ONE PERSON YOU HATE NOW?
A)THE GIRL WHO RUIN MY DAY JUST BY HAVING PEOPLE SAY HER NAME

Q)WHAT IS THE VIOLENT THING YOU CAN THINK OF TO DO NOW?
A)!@#$% SOMEONE UPSIDE DOWN!

Q)WHO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE WITH NOW TO TRASH OUT YOUR NONSENSE?
A)MY AWESOME,FANTASTIC,WONDERFUL,NICE BF

Q)WHO YOU WANT TO SO MUCH SHOW YOU THANK-NESS TO?
A)THE GUY WHO HELPED ME OUT WITH MY COVER LETTER

Q)1 WORD TO DESCRIBE YOUR FEELINGS NOW
A) WRATH~(INFURIATED,ANGUISH,FLABBERGASTED,AGITATED,FRUSTRATED,MAD,MARAH,ENRAGED)

Ok..I dun want let them talk already.They talk nonsense when they meet.That shows that my head and heart never agree about anything one..
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Such side of me you see above was actually long left.Somehow,it came back for a certain moment,Because I decided to let heart and head meet.I am so sory if anyone were to be disturbed by such post.Do tag me if you think its too disTurbing and rude and if I should get it out from my entry post.

But as I've promised, I am still smiling.I am still living life happily till May ends.I am putting shits behinds me and I am smiling and happy!!!

SO, SMILE PEOPLE!!!!!

Pure happiness

I didnt know that at least a day this month can be as exciting,as wonderful,as awesome as today..Since my May hasnt been good so far other than me making up faces to make it look great.Haha..What else can be as wonderful as today.?

So.here's the story.Went to school earlier on and that wasnt really good news taht I have to enter ICTVTS class cause we'r having a close book test..Yay!!Wat's the big deal right?hah.I didnt study at all and that wat makes it big!Ya2 so after which we went to AMK.Initially Zura didnt want ti go cause of wantiing to do project but then she decided to go and off we went!Wlked and it was v v hot!Eat and walk and decided to go to the movies floor there to just look around.And my oh my..There was where all the fun and excitement started..Hh..

I saw someone..HAH..A particular someone I was really2 happy to meet!After 3 years of not talking and not meeting ,we finally met there at the movies.He was working there..Hha..And that someone actually made be pester zura for the next hour.Haha..Sory zura!So so so..I was happy!!She saw how I contained my happiness when I was talking to the someone.

And no words can describe how happy I was..But 1 thing I know..The burden and pain I've been carrying with me all this while is somehow off my shoulder.Its like so feather-weigh..I feel so light and happy!

And at training..It was kinda fun.I think the excitement from previous was making it fun for me..Hah.And then,I've got bf back..We didnt meet but smsing him normal again was nice..I love you awak!!!

And so..I'm suppose to do my mcn tutorial and resume letter and cover letter!!Hha...Gone!!

Loves

i miss you

Its 3 good-forsaken weeks!Haiz.. So you see,like I've said,I need to share my bf!And I hate it so much!Haiz...And I actually have to endure for another 1 year to be with him freely..Haiz..!another year?hmm..Sounds like a promise..Haha..

Anyway,I miss him..3 weeks of which we hadnt meet,been close and talk much.Sometimes I wonder how I can have the will to even bear this kind of relationship..Haa..JAHAT SEY ME!But I am sure its all because of love..LOVE do stupid things to people..And me too,no exception!How I long to just see his face.Its tiring just wondering how long more I'll be meeting him.I want my bf back can??*Cries*

I've been like such a bitch this week.I dunno!OK..Ive been with other guys other than bf this week.Not that bf dunno la.I mean I was with Shamin like usual.He know that.MCGian guys he dunno but its nt like I was flirting with anyone.I didnt even hug anyOne lor during MPA.And with a particular someone I dun wish to name here.I asked bf for permission and he grant it.Thinking about all this,I kept pestering myself why on Earth I'm with them and not bf..

Now,he's at home sleeping..I think,because the daes in camp this week was tiring.Haiz,what else can I do.I cant basically tell him not to sleep and layan me right?I miss him so much..But not being able to do anything to tell him how much,well,it just suck!
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And someone is not happy about his camp today..Hhaha..Well,thats just you huh?Sengaje kan!Come back and tell me all about your not so fun camp alright..Take cares! Well,7 more days to the end of MAY and I'm already seeing how the following month is gonna be..Hha..Lets anticipate!

But before..Heres the pic taken during my impromptu bdae celebration with zura and post-presentation




*Screw everything and everyone

PICS presentation

Shamin is such a bad person!And he actually say he miss me also ok..

Hhaha..

Presentation for PICS was justnow..Zura,eventhough was in pain because of her neck still came down despite that.Rehearse with the group once before going for the class and we actually made a grant entrance..Hha..Yes,that means we were late.We waited outside the room until the first group end their presentation and then went in..Then its already our turn to present.Haha..All of us actually did perfectly and fantastically well..Eventhough it was a last minute thing,we did it as a group and am so happy to see that it was actually coming out so good.Haha..To just sums it up,we did a fantastic presentation and this,was the best presentation I've ever had.Thanks to you people.

OK..So,I am so the tired..Funnily,leg wasnt that tired froom wearing heels the whole day.HAHA..And did I mention we all were wearing blazers..Haha..Mcm cool like that.HAh..We all standardize what to wear and all and it all was so perfect.OK..Talking about this wont make me stop!So TQAH,STOP!!!

Erm..MCG production committee was out and was already told to the yr2s.Me,being a stage manager..Hah..First time sey and I am so nervous actually.Man,to do this,I need to really2 pick up all my courage and confidence and put them to a very high level!But still,at the same time,I can't wait for my job to start.Its gonna be fun.I am not sure if my ASMs are gonna be happy about them being chosen as the ASM but watever it is,lets just think positive k Tqah!It will all be ok..Calm now??ok?Good!

I miss bf sooooooo much.Haiz.Third week of not meeting him.This is pain!Mental pain to me!HAHA..Kan Tqah da start exaggerate!I miss him alot.Whats with him busy these weeks.So,no messages from him,no calls and no nites out for us to meet.All I can do is message him about my day and not expecting a reply back or kol him without expecting a pick up and definitely not expecting him having nites out.Everytime my hp vibrated,I've wished it was him messaging or koled..But its always not him.But..when its him,it just made my day!Just a message a day make me so happy already..Hah..My bf is in ns..What can I do but be patient!I have to share him with his family and the government!Cruel!

Ok..I wannna go awae..Far far and away..Haha..OK..Gone!

Just too tired

I've just came back like an hour ago..I reached home,bathe and then eat and on my lappy.But what I'm trying to say is this..My neck,shoulder and leg is really2 in pain.I am too tired and all.My arms are aching just by typing.Not to mention the cough and itch in my throat.But I'm just always telling myself that I am strong enough to endure all this.Usually I will ignore the pain but today it came to an extent that I can't take anymore and just have to take oilment to apply on the pain myself.I dun want to think too much because this few days,trying hard to think actually will give a headache.And one of these days,if I dunno how to take care of myself,I will just collapse and stay unconscious.

Finally,Technicolor is presenting tomorrow.I am not nervous now.But I am sure gonna be when I enter the room.Haiz!But for now,I'll try my ery best to make tomorrow an exciting presentation.Haiz.

Yesterday(19/05) was Malam Perdana Andayu.Yes.I didnt take a picture of myself at all.Why?Because I dun have a camera at all.And so..I wore something which I wore only yesterday.Never in my whole life am I gonna wear those again.I mean,its just not me la..I dun dress up to look like a broadway performer nor do I dress up gothic-ly..Haha..But still.I was proud of myself for being able to put my clothes together and to actually wear it for 14 hours.Haha..So now.The event was superb.Seriously..The yr2s really did such great job.And to those new committees,I am very very sure you people are the best to get what you're given..I am seriously just proud and happy ydae..I didn't really was happy all along but I tried making my mood matches the event.Aniwae,how could I not be in the mood when the members are soo cute and funny..Walking down memory lane,those kids brought us to..I was seriously2 touched but I didn't cry.Have I said,I 've always hate graduation parties and having to say goodbye to a place where you've always been living at for years.

I am very tired.I wanna sleep and I will do just that very soon.

May is just different this year

May..May..May..2009 wasn't just a year for me huh?I was wondering why April was such a good month for me when it hasnt been a good one for me all this while..Come May, the I knew the answer..Wanna know why?Its because May wasnt going to be a good month for me like how good it had been for me all these years.Do I hear myself complaining?Not yet..But now..maybe I will.

Starting off May was ok..Maybe just some grace time given to me before bad things happen.!Ok..But still there isn't anything a cry won't solve for me..Shits happen,you cry about it at nights and then the next day you're ok..Maybe for me only la.But thats how I control myself.

I've got problems I dun go around telling people..There's just too much for me to take these days..2 weeks has past but I am still like this..I am still smiling an empty smile.I am still masking a sad face.I have noone to talk to.I have noone I know will understand my state and feelings.When things like this happen.I prefer to stay quiet and observe what might just happen next eventhough I'm perfectly clear about whats going to happen next.I chose to wait and see and walk away from it afterwards.Thats why it continue to haunt me.But still,I am proud of myself for being abke to not burden people with my own problems.I settle them myself and then send it away together with all the hard feelings.

But what saddens me the most is that shits happens between me and my love ones..How can my May turn out so bad.Its like one person after one person I'm not in good terms with.Everything seems to be wrong somewhere and everywhere.I am the daughter,I am the big sister,I am the friend and I am the gf.Does that tell much?

I've never thought of blowing up over such things I duno what.But sometimes,when the devil push you a little bit further and when the head is full of problems that are unsolved,the wisest thing to do is blow up.I got vulgar and mad,not my normal self.I was anggry,what else can I do.As I've told someone,I am the most patient person you can ever find.My level of patience are not achieved by people of the right mind.I may be patient but being tolerant is not one of my good qualities.The differences?Figure those out urself.

The new week of May is coming.I dun want my beautiful and usual happy May to be ruin just because of the ferst 2 weeks of pain.I've put all those pain behind me and I am gonna give my sweetest smile again.No mask anymore.Just the real NURATIQAH yeap?So,if you want to take advantage of my kindness,do it before May ends ok?

May really means alot to me.Apart from it being my birthday month of which I wouldn't want to talk about.It was just my month to be joyful and glow.But thats just something people won't understand since it sounded so sick and stupid!But its ok..As I've said,I dun need people to understand the way I am or the way I live.But as long as they love me,I'm ok with it.

Thanks to those who have read this far.I dun need sympathy from anyone.And if theres ever a person who come to me and ask if i'm ok after reading this post,I am so gonna punch or slap you in theface no matter if its May or not!If you call yourself my friend then you should know I hate that form of question.

Ok.I want to go and sleep and see the next day come and greet my wake..I want to hear my mums voice asking me to wake up and I want to wake up to see bf's sms on my handphone.And I sure want to wake up to say my prayers about how happy I'm granted another day to live.

Good nite my love ones..May you have all happiness in life..

12 may

I am becoming lazy to update my blogs already..Bad TQAH!!!haha..

OK..So in case there are people who want to know how 12 May went,here goes..I slept at 4 in the morning of 12 May..Don't ask me why.The person who made me sleep that late,thanks ya.Hha..So,that means I was online at 0000 on 12 May..The ferst sec and min and hours of 12 May.I received msn wish from Aqim,Shamin,Syamim,Lun Tat,Kenneth.Then a call from fah and Zura and bf..Ok.Thanks so much to those people..So cute..Then went to school and got wishes from clasmates thanks to Zura..Heh..And messages after that from dear mcgians and relatives and frens and sistaz ku..Then checked blog..Some birthday tags...Cute people.Frendster too.and from mummy and dady and bro and sis.

To others who wished me in any other form of way or any way at all..Thanks so much..I really do appreciate it alot.haha..So yeap..to just go straight to the point..

AZURA!!!!thanks to you for the cakes..Ive nvr had an impromptu birthday celebration before..Hah...thanks kakak..Hha...Sibling or wat??haha...Thanks..WAA....you made my day..HhAA..THANKS...

Someones gonna be angry wen i write this..Somehow,my day was made better after going to the stadium.Ha..I've got to menikmati keindahan alam...Alhamdulillah..Tengok sikit sikit tapi tak boleh sikit mesti byk2..Hhaa...Those people with me will now what I'm talking about.Hah..But still,someone got luckier to get a second glance.Hha...Gatal!

So yeap..Best parS of my 12 May..But still,having my family there was awesome since I cant have bf..Hah..

Thanks people..Im just too lazy to type..Some other time.

strengths,weaknesses??

Because somebody say that I'm crazy in love.Then I should update my blog today.

Let's see..

It was during PICS class when I start to think of some things..Its because the lecturer was talking about it.About who your hero is and all..So here..I was thinking about my strength and weaknesses..I used to listen to people tell me about my strengths and weaknesses..But for once,I want to think about my own strengths and weaknesses because I think I know myself better ryt?Come lets see:
Weaknesses:
I am so sensitive that I cry over such small matters and I let small thing overtake my mood and then I am moody.
I trust people too much but still I have some doubt trusting people I know I should be trusting.
I seek redundant attention.
I don't listen to advises..
I hate changes and I will always try to deny the fact taht I have to change due to any situation.
So,to sums it all,if I were not to have such things,I knew I would have become such a better person..I dun have enough confidence..I dun do self-motivation all that well.

Strengths:
I smile alot and thats what make my ruined day unruined at the end.
I make good deeds and sometimes I get what I want from people.
I choose my friends thats why, I'm not down with too much depression with friends problem.
I know whats' important and now I'm at NYP year 3 doing fairly well..

I'm not sure to people who read if they think that the strengths should be weaknesses and vice versa but to me,I feel these are the ways..

I'm turning 19 in a few days and like every other years,I asked myself this,"What have I done all this 19 years of my life?"..I shall list down now.
-I got my aimed grade for malay during PSLE.
-I wasn't a perfect scorer,so I got into normal schools and graduated with satisfying grades.
-I organized my own event in 2005(with the help of my dearies)
-I was involved in organizing many events during sec school and I am happy for those achievements.
-I graduated NPCC with staff sargeant RANK.I achieved my target.
-I got into marksman competition eventhough my points was just enough.
-I got my face on a stamp...Yay!!
-I was given the chance to represent the school with some others for City Success.
-I've got my deserved grades in NYP
-I took part in 3 drama performances already.That took me alot of courage yea..
-I've always got my family with me.
-I've got Zura and Fah and then GG and then some of my classmates.
-On 22 August 2008,I've got a wonderful boyfriend for myself

These are a few things..Next year,I will come back and reflect on my achievements again..Before I go..May babies..Happy birthday!!May has always been such wonderful month for me.

I love you

Lets put it this way..The weekend was kinda hard!But I refused to let it overtake me..So,smile!!And,instead of talking about it,I think I shall just talk about my bf!

Well,8 month has past and I sure am looking forward for our 9th 10th 11th and maybe forever..Insyaallah!Erm..I've always ask myself and can't stop wondering how many times ever during this relationship have I ever made this guy angry or pissed.Eventhough he would say that I've never,I doubt that..He's just too forgiving and forget about such things so easily that he never want to come back to throw those things I've done to my face!Good?Well,thats just him!Erm..What would I do if I never have him by me now?Ahh...??I'll still be the very same me!Only difference is that,I will not be too emotional than I already am and that I will still continue to go around and goo2 gaa2 over such cute guys..Hhaa..I dun do those anymore.Basically because I have this respect for him..

These 8 such wonderful months,I've been happy with him.He make me smile when I can't..He gave me his shoulder to cry on..He gave me advises eventhough after knowing very well that I don't listen to them.He gave me 8 months of such happy moments.What else can I ever ask for?I just want him and the whole life with him..

Me?All I've been giving this wonderful guy is problem..(He would never say I have).I can't rremember how many times I've make him angry..I remember a time when he was kinda pissed at me but still he managed to talk nicely eventhough coldly to me..The next morning,he called and acted like nothing happen.I can't act like nothing happen.Because it did happen and I've been making this wonderful guy angry but still he manages to just forgive me like that..Now you know why I love him so much?

I dun deny that sometime I feel like killing him with my bare hands but I think I love him too much to do so.Hhaa..How can I do without him!8 months of wonderful relationship..Those,I will definitely treasure..Sometimes,listening to him blabber and talk with such excitement about something I do not have any knowledge about or something that would bore me to death,I could only smile and listen..He might not know how much he bore me but still,despite all that,I love hearing him talk..Trust me,I can be with him all day and be quiet ad just hear him bla bla bla..Hehe..So,you see,I dun really do all the talking!

Seeing him at the doorstep,came in and having him to wait for me get ready for more than 15 minutes eventhough I say i would be ready in 5,makes me so happy..Because,he is the very first guy to do that..Although he complain about it when we're out from the house,I love that teasing and the look on his face..I know I have someone who can wait for me.Listening to him give me stupid lame jokes and sometimes make me do stupid things,just excite me more..Because I never want to do them and then the 'membebel' he does,is so cute that sometimes I just feel like giggling.

I love the look he have whenever I start my nonsense and how he either kept quiet and listen or play along.The look when we've finally met since the past 2 weeks..The look when he ask "Are you ok?"..

I love him..I truly do!And I am very very grateful I have him in my life..And those compliments he have always been showering me with,I can only say thank you.I'm a normal girl.I'm just like every other people.Only that I may have diiferent personal qualities.I haven't been giving you any compliment..And now I'm giving it in my blog..!!You're the best boyfriend ever and I'd never want anyone else other than you...