Urgh!!

Maybe I should learn to shut up. Seriously. It's causing some people heartaches. Tho I seriously dunno Wat I did or say wrong. Purely individual sensitiveness.

Saying things like that just make me feel so damn terrible. Seriously speaking. I never ever meant anything. I didn't thought just telling something could result in a shaky situation.

Damn. I'm too tired thinking and talking about it. I dunno Wat else to say. But dammit. I'm tired.

Otw back home

I am soooo very hungry right now. I could eat a cow. Shall go home and eat like a glutton!! Heh

Ok so. Today is the 11th. Happy happy bdae to kaklong.. Stay pretty. Senyum2 slalu. :)

Back to me.. Hmm. Work is good so far. I'm doing my job. Too many things happening. I hate changes but since I am working. Changes are a definite must. I am still trying my very best to Coping and adapting to it.. So far. Not much problem.

Personal life?? Hmm. Like I've said previously. Too many roller coaster rides. Tired but trying to cope.

I need a massage. Like ASAP!! But with expenses towards the birthday celeb in placed, I have to put the niat to massage on hold. :)

Now. As I am sitting here in the train. Otw back. My mind wonder to a thousand different places. I wonder how I manage to do that. Haha.

However, like what me n my mgr was talking about earlier today. There's not much of a point to be planning the future when the real deal is how we actually want to live our present. Because once today, or rather,the present, is over, 11/4/2012 will be history. And whatever happens in the future is due to what happened now. :)

Ok baby. I'm tired. I'll blog again soon. Bye lovelies.

Shut it

They say. You dont owe anyone a living. And you don't owe anyone any apology. hmm hmm. So that means I owe nobody any explanation. For I am tired of clarifying myself to people who never want to listen. The best option is to shut up n ignore. Yes the wrong. No the truth.

Life has been great so far. Apart from the massive headache. It's quite an interesting life. Too many roller coaster rides. Some I can't bother to even board. Nor do I bother to scream. Haiz.

Nothing much to say for today's post. But here's a last note:

Thanks darling for the time you spent for me. I may have done lots I wrongs but I am pretty sure this time I'm not.

Hmm

Huh...

One thing led to another. And damn. That's not a good lead at all.

For years now, I've been asking myself the same old question. Am I a good whatever.. I mean.. An I a good daughter. Am I a good sister. Am I a good girlfriend. Am I a good friend. Am I even a good human being. Again and again the question keeps on playing in my head. Not that I can't find answers to all those. Just that as much I wanna know. I cAnt bring myself to go and actually know.

My colleague once told me that we can never go hard on ourselves. Always take things easy and stay positive. She say that we must at all times love ourselves. Because our love for ourselves and the love others give you are so much different. They can love you. But one day when they all are gone. What will happen?

Good advice I thought. Because seriously. I've never thought of it like that. Stay positive. The one advice everybody should seek. Just that everytime I try to think positive. There's this tiny voice at the back of my head going all negative. And for a very tiny sound. It's doing good. Because it sure do get to me. Irritating much.

I have love. That I do know. And one particular love I want to be writing and think about is this love with a particular guy.

Since the day I created this blog( act it was zura who created it for me ), I have fallen head or heels or I would say madly in love with 3 sweethearts. All in about 4 5 years. Yea. 3.. 3 amazing people who have foun their way in and out of my life. I never regretted any event. For I believe all this happened for a reason. I made my mistakes. I learnt from some. And I ignored some.

Suhaimi. Another guy who pop into my life with so much to offer. I truly do not know how this happen or rather how this is gonna work out. It's been a couple of months. Too many roller coaster rides. And for a person who hate roller coasters, I kinda enjoy this ride just fine.

Darling. Thank u for granting me a positive couple of months and thank you for being by me on my not so wonderful days. Thank u for helping me see that I have lots of people who loved me and cared for me. And that includes you. I've never made a public declaration. But here goes. I love you. Dearly.

Feeling terrible

Well.. I'm writing my post here using my dearest iPhone. What the rush right? Well. There's the rush. I need u my dear bloggy for I do not have any other soure of companion for complains.

Haiz. Things wasn't all that wonderful at all. Not at all. Things are getting much difficult as time past. I don't know how long I an take this for my patience hasn't been one I would be proud of now. Because I'm not left with a lot. I get angry over small small issues and it's pissing me off and the people around me.

Dear bloggy. What should I do? I'm clueless and as helpless as I can be. I dont even know if what I'm doing is right or wrong. I dont even know what I'm doing.. Bad enough right?

I'm sorry darling. For my shortfalls and flaws. But I know never once have you stopped loving me. Thank you for that.

Dear Allah. Beri Aku kekuatan dan petunjukmu. Amin.