What am I like..

I was thinking about making my blog private.. But then again I thought that its kinda redundant.. Noone blog anymore nowadays..So that means nobody will actually go and check people's blog.. Since I dun have readers coming here, so whats the point of making it private.. I shall just say whatever I want then..:)

This past month had been one I can say I dun wanna live in.. I went through them but I dun like it the slightest bit. No.. Its not work this time.. I am just having a hard time with everything and everybody. I dun really know why.. Haiz.. I am sick and tired of all this drama.. heartache.. All these nonsense..

I seem to feel so insignificant on the face of Earth.. I dun feel special.. I dun feel that I make any difference to anybody's life.. I am just another normal girl going through the hardship of life.. Yea.. I am nothing much to anyone.. I am just doing everyone a/the favour. Its ok..

Its really sad.. Really.. And as I write down today's entry in this blog( that never fail me), I cry.. Not because I am insignificant.. But because I am tired..

I have been thinking alot these few days.. I may be smiling all the time but who actually know what I feel. I dun expect anybody to understand me anyway.. I was just wondering about everything that has happened to me all this while.. Did I do the right thing? Did I make the right decision? If I am doing the right thing then why is it that I feel so tired from all these dramas? Why is it that I never liked the trouble and pain it cause..

I dun wanna do or think anything that might be bad for me at the end.. I dun wanna hurt myself even deeper. I know how it feels like.

The future seems brighter but I dun quite know for sure.  I wanna go ahead and finish my studies before I decide on anything.. I wanna be successful before anything.. haiz.. I dunno.. Somehow, deep down, I am kinda dead!

I love my baby.

My daddy has always been saying. Do something for yourself. Achieve what you wanna achieve. I am 22 this year. How fast time flies. I Can still remember clearly my mom tied my hair to school so clearly. Seems like its only yesterday. Time is indeed moving so quickly. Too quick I can't grasp any if I'm a little too late. So, what's up with life right? Nothing much. Still the same old boring thing. I still work and the same place and I am still tired all the time. Same plain excuse tqah. So, being 22. It somehow kinda got stuck to my head that I'm already in the adult category. And being the eldest, responsibilities are up on my shoulder. Making wise decision is a must. Being perfect is also one of the key. I must say I am grateful for the human form brought upon me. I cAn never thank them enough. I may be a 5 year old girl at times. But I know in my head that I am old enough.. Last before I go. Just wanna say. I love my baby.

Happy as it is..

I have started my own small business.. Nothing big.. But I am hopeful it will grow. Its dealing with branded kids wear and its guaranteed of good quality.. Lyshababynkids.blogspot.com

I hope it grows.. Insyaallah..

So yeah.. I have been tired and in pain right about now.. :) Nothing new.. Yea..

So, yeehaw.. Hows life? My life have been one fun roller coaster ride.. When I thought I've seen enough, more is to come.. Im taking everything slowly.. At a step.. With thoughtful planning.. With support and perseverance, I am sure I will go through all this..

Relationship with darling bf has been wonderful. Too much drama but nothing we cant handle.. I am grateful for having him waltzing into my life.. Whatever I am short of, he fill them in.. Making life a whole lot better.Darling.. Thank you for everything.. Just so you know.. I love love love you...:)

Family? Wooo... They are awesome.. Splendidly awesome.. Listening to my nonsense every single day.. Helping and guiding me whenever I need them.. They are just wonderful.. The pillar of my life. I love them with every heartbeat..:)

Me? My life itself.. I have been wonderful. No near depression.. No insomnia.. No nonsense.. Ooh ooh no.. I still have nonsense.. My point here is that I am happy.. Truly happy... Alhamdulillah.. I dun have many friends but I am happy.  I dun confide in many.. I only have bf and mum to confide most of my problems or issues too. Well again, you dun quite need the whole world around you to be happy.. Its making most of the time you have with the people around you that matters..

I am thankful.. Alhamdulillah..