Just another day

Oh my my my... It has been quite some time since I last had flu or cold or anything like that. Amd really, the feeling of being sick is not wonderful. Being sick itself is bad enough but mixing it with headaches.. Now, thats enough to suck up all my energy. But again, whats there to complain.. Allah kasi sakit untuk hapus dosa kite kan..:) Ok. Other then that.. I need to tell you dear bloggy that we have all shift office to West Coast. Not that very ideal given the fact that I need to now change to the other side of the platform to get to work everyday and also the increase in train fares by 25 cents. Not appealing at all. But this beats the one they were all eyeing at Science Park. :) So, being here doesnt have that many perks. Other than the fact that it is very near to the MRT station and Haw Par Villa. But why would I be excited that its near Haw Par Villa right.. So, as I was saying I was kinda restless after being here for about 3hours. No windows in the room. By now, you should know bloggy that I eventhough I am not that claustrophobic, I dun like to be in a very enclosed place. And damn. My room is even bigger than this room that needs to be shared by 6. But for now, theres only the 4 of us. So its quite fine for now. So, thats about all for my shift here to West Coast. Not gonna complain again Anyway, today is not really a busy busy day since I have finish all my work yesterday. Monday will be a little bit busy but that should be fine fine I guess. I am a bit bored but I have my little book to keep my company. As well as some Youtube and phone and iPad. :) Oh and ya.. I know I promise to tell you some details about my wedding plans.. I am not really in the mood to elaborate now and also, honestly, I havent really been thinking about the details all that much. Sorry bloggy. I love you.. Ok. now I know what to do. I needs to go check up on when my school result is coming up. See you again bloggy.. I love youuuuuu..:)

Wedding II

Hello bloggy I have an interesting thing to share and blabber about. Well, I went to West Coast Park yesterday with family and found a big space overlooking a beautiful sunset.. There are ship cranes in the water, with some boats too. At the very instant, I fall in love with the place. And I know for a fact thats where I wanna hold my wedding. I nak jugak! I dun really care that its not that accessible for my guests. Hahaha.. So well, I was so interested and excited to plan my wedding. I haven't really get into it yet but I sure will do it soon. Ok, so I have been checking out the wedding package and wedding venues. I know for very sure I want it over at West Coast Park but when I checked it out, they dun do weddings there :( Sad!! Tapi takpe. I was just planning(suke2 je buat).. Thinking about my theme. My gown, my centerpieces, my bouquet, my decorations and most imprtantly my FOODS!!!!! Hahaha.. I am very excited now to main plan-plan.. OKok.. When I have everything made up, I will blog again. Bye bloggy!!

Whats not to be feeling wonderful for

So today.. Today is my payroll manger's last day at work. She will be switching jobs. So, just before her meeting starts with one of us, all of us ambush her in the meeting room without her knowing about it. Gave her the gift and card.. She gave us a fairly awesome speech. And she dropped the bomb! SHe's PREGNANT!!! so what we were thinking about all this while were kind true. That aside, we are all truly happy for her. Me? I am very happy and delighted o hear such joy. She will be embracing a huge bundle of joy. She was a great leader. SOmeone I was confortable working with since I first got into this shift. Knowing I was new and not entirely pleased with the change arrangement, she made sure I was satisfied, well prepared and trained to face all the challenges. Alhamdulillah, under her guidance I manage to take responsibility for my work and client and their employees get their right pay. Syukur.. I wouldn't wished for other previous manager to guide me through this. I am happy she was the one. With all the patience she has to not only entertain my never stoppable queries, but also from other colleagues, I am able to perform my job with the smallest possible error I could manage. Yes, she is not Muslim. But Allah, I hope she's protected in the face of Earth and may her baby be borned healthy and happy. May she be blessed with all the goods.. Current mood for today: I am ecstatic. Alhamdulillah for this wonderful news that she has proudly shared with all of us and the fact that I got good marks so far for this semester. Syukur.

I am just unhappy about certain things

You know, life isn’t always beautiful, isn’t always as fair, isn’t always as easy as we want it to be.. Someone told me to ‘keep my head up high and my ego down low’ Have I been too egoistic for other people’s liking? Is my ego the reason why I drive people away and why I always don’t get what I want? Is it really because of my ego? Is it really? I have always wanted an easy happy life but we are no fairy tale. There is never an easy life. It could be if you are living alone. I can accept that life isn’t always easy. But I find it terribly difficult to accept the fact that it is so hard for me to stay happy with the people I love who claim love me. Yea, I am laughing, smiling, making jokes out of things but again, why? I am tired of making people angry, I am tired of having people make me angry (not that I can help it). I am tired of always pretending that my heart and feeling is intact but actually its breaking a lot. I can’t help but think that I am desperately only trying to make myself happy. What exactly constitute happiness? I have no freaking idea anymore. All I’ve been trying to do is put everyone in front of me and catering to what they want and need first. Trying to protect and take care of everyone. So now, where do I stand? Behind everyone? Sometimes I am too busy trying to please everyone that I forgot that I have a life too. I am not saying that no one ever thought about me. No. My parents tried to gave me everything I need and I never once hated them for anything they do for me. I never hated them for all the scolding and nagging. In fact I am very grateful they brought me up the way they do. If there’s one thing I want to change about it is I wished they were stricter. Then I would maybe be a successful daughter and being. I may have a mountain high ego but that’s just because I dun want to be a push-over. That’s just because I want to be able to be as strong as I thought I am. If I am insecure about someone that means I love you too much to let any possible things take you away. If I am not, that means I trust you so much to behave and never let me down. I dun know. Maybe how I think differs a lot from all the other girls. Well, to begin with, only guys have a mountain-high ego... But then again, I am who I am and nothing could possibly change me in and out... I can tone it down for you. Only if I think you are worth it.

Things always happen

I know I am a little bit late at posting it but its been weeks since our dearest Cory Monteith left us.. He was a huge talent.. I was deeply saddened by this fact but what's breaking me the most is whenever I think about Lea. Yeah, she's been my inspiration and motivation all these while. She is strong but receiving this fact could destroy every strong being.. It's heartbreaking knowing that she had it rough. But my, is she strong to pull herself through. Through this, I learn something.. Something I've always known. But never really bothered by it.. The healthy and perfectly fine person you see today might not be there anymore tomorrow..

So. Back to what I was intending to post today..

The difficulty of Studying and working full time at the same time has started to take a toll on me.. It's starting to get difficult as time past by.. And no. I can't quit.. They say "bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian".. These are just some sacrifices I need to make..

Currently right now, I am stuck with my statistic's assignment. No one to help me exactly. I am confident of my accounting though.

HRM... Heh.. If only I could get past my distraction and understand more. That would be better.. :)

So, right about now, here I am in the train otw back home from tuition.. I am fatigue.. Abit hungry.

Things are not in the best of state right now.. Tired for things and maybe it's best everything's served on the plate.. No more secrets about how he truly feel about me and this rs.. I am too tired and very much had my mind occupied with many things.. To save the pain? Maybe I'm getting numb with how I am supposed to feel.

I believe I can and will be a better person no matter what difficulties life has in store of me.

Just like Lea, I choose to be positive and strong

It's life

So.. This is life..

Now, I truly understand the full term of 'you will never appreciate something until its gone' .. I can't remember how I have always take things for granted.. And now that they are gone, I wished I could rewind back time to correct but I've done wrong..

It's also typical of life.. Where people like you, love you, adore you.. but there are also some who hate you. Loathe you. Well, who are we to stop them..

That's life.. Right?

Just another day post

In real life, you cannot always get what you want and believe it or not, I want all I want in life.. Greedy? Maybe.. But too bad for me..

I have too many things I have in my mind but to put them into words and sentences seems to be impossible. Making myself too readable could hurt people's feelings so I shall just continue to be as vague as I can to save many heartaches.

Well, my days hasnt been one I would say have been sailing smoothly. It has not. But guess I am too tired to even be thinking abt it. I am tired.

Work has been another bitch! Just because I do my work quick, doesnt mean you push loads to me.. That is so unfair. Everybody is busy but remember, I am busy too.

Things are just not in the right places for now. Maybe I need to just calm down first.

Some thoughts

I am at this point of life where I am ways uncertain about how I want to go forward with life.. Do I start finding other jobs ? Or do I start giving some thoughts to marriage..

Right now, everything seems abit blurry and unclear but it has been that way for quite some time. Maybe it's time I take charge.

Work was very unpleasant today. I dun enjoy anything and everything..

Hafiz.. What am I doing with my life. Do I have control over it or am I dooming myself and my future?

Ramadan is here again

It's the start for our Ramadan tomorrow. Alhamdulillah, dapat Jgk kite bertemu Dgn Ramadan tahun ni.

Personally, I am taking this month as an opportunity for me to be a better person.. I hope to be given the guidance to lead the journey I am about to take.. So for all. May this Ramadan be a great blessing for everyone.. Ramadan Kareem..

I should be happy.

Right now here I am sitting alone at Pastamania while my other halves are ordering their food.. My dear Jeff volunteered to ordered mine for me. :)

Well. My day was quite alright.. I am grateful that I am strong enough to control all the bad that comes my way. I am proud of myself for being able to stay patient and calm so as to not blow my top and burst to tears. I know I am strong enough for all this. I know I am strong enough to handle all problems that come my way. I have Allah..

So, actually I am quite excited that I am meeting my bunch of deary friends today, on a week which I am most down and low. They might not need to know what happened but they certainly know how to make me feel better and happier.. for that I thank them and Allah for crossing all our pathways with each other..

Ya Allah, sekirenyer jalan yang aku pilih  bukan Jalan yang engkau  tetapkan untukku, Kau berikan la aku kekuatan Dan petunjuk untuk membetulkan Arah hidupku. Kau berikanlah aku ketabahan untuk menerima yang baik untukku seperti yang telah Kau tetapkan untukku.. Sesungguhnya Hanya Kau yang Maha Mengetahui. Amin..

I dun regret life

Today's post are all about random stuffs..

Everybody have something they regret in life.. I am almost certain everybody do.. My point here is how exactly does one deal with this situation?

I remembered when I was 16..there was an incident that made me regret things.. Just one overseas trip and I lost my boyfriend.. I dunno what to regret about. The fact that I didn't follow the trip or because I was too trusting.. But then that's nothing big isn't it.

But what happened when you have something big you regret doing or not doing?

Haiz II

Who knows that love was so cruel-Christina Aguilera

My intention was good but you tried to make it bad. You made me sound so bitchy. So bad. It hurts. But what's priority now is letting yourself spout things so that you could hurt me so badly that it makes yourself feel so good and satisfied.. Well baby. I hope you were satisfied. What was this? What was my purpose to you? Am I really we'll deserving of all the scoldings,vulgarities and anger.

I am just a normal girl who wants to be happy with the guy who claim he loves me but why does it have to be so bad and difficult.. Am I doing what's right? Or I am just making things gets worst?  I used to be so confident of life and what needs to be done but it seems that you have sucked out all the confidence from me. How do I go on now without you, your support and your love. Your gentleness. It wasn't easy but all you want to believe is that it's easy for me and super hard for you.. If you feel that making such decision was an easy one then you are very wrong. Because never once would I want to utter such a thing to you. But guess what. Unsurprisingly, you never understood my intention.  

What should I do? Tell me

Dear Allah. Give me strength

Haiz

So. What's life?

Why can't I just have a peaceful life. With all whom I loved. Why is it that problem after problem just have to arise..

I m tired. Spiritually. Physically. Mentally and emotionally.

Haiz. I'm just at a loss about now.

FRUST-PISSED!

What a life.

Nothing interest me anymore. Going to work is like having to drag a big rock out of the roots of a tree. Ok. Aku mepek!

Boring la gini. Pergi kerje macam a drag gitu. Kadang2 macam nak nanges kene pergi kerje. Haiz. Well, nothing there is interesting anymore. I am stripped off my responsibility as a HR and Finance person. A job I am enjoying for the most 2 years and someone just think that by denying me my job is a very wise thing to do.

Yes, Nura is efficient. No mistake and good. But hell, Nura is underpaid too? Damn ******!

Fuuh, I am super pissed. Really am pissed but I am keeping quiet. Why? Because do i have a choice? No!

Shouldn't I be asked first if I am alright with the arrangement? Don't I have a say too?

Oh well.. Hell..

IM  DONE HERE! BYE!

Lepas sekolah!

In the bus right now otw back from home. Driving back would be good but with my eyes shuttering and my legs shivering. I doubt I am capable of driving. Aniway, I have ntg much to blog about but it's better than seeing this couple right I front of me feeding each other mandarin orange like young teenagers in love. Jealous? Mane ADe.. Ngan ni laki Dari tadi asek nak pusing2. Sepak baru tau!

I am actually controlling my eyes. Since I am not so sure of the route towards Bukit PAnjang, then I had better stay up. And after being in this bus for 15mins, I'm back to being In front of  SIM.. Rupe-rupenyer bus ni pusing la. hahah. Selenge!

I was looking out the window while listening to kiss92 and can't help where my mind wonders. I smile. I regret. But then again it's the pass and parcel of life.. The experience makes me who I am now and teaches me life. Haha. Tqah bual mcm paham tapi btol la tau.

Ok la. boyfie call ni. So bye ok!

Just another boring post

Hey..

Many things have been going on lately. I have been bored as hell at work and after work life is pretty hectic. School girl la katekan. Actually its not that bad. Just that I have been working on my assignments and other school stuffs. My, they were not easy assignment. :)

Work was fine. I just hate the fact that I look dumb to everybody because everyone seems to love telling me what to do and how to do them. Being dumped into another department without asking whether I like it or not, is pissing me off big time but then, since when has things been done by the rule. I promise I can cry everytime they give me a new job to do. Going through everything in the speed of light and expecting me to understand every foundation of stuffs. I dun get everything. And I simply hate it. People use me like a disposable can!

Life is pretty much wonderful. Standard people, standard expectations, standard life..

Relationship with boyfriend right now is very easy-going. I hope it last.

I am coming to 23 this year. Is that even right? It feels like I just started Poly yesterday. I dun even want to grow any older anymore. Grow a lil bit taller will be fine though.

Married? No. Maybe not just yet. I've been seeing many friends getting married and some already with babies. I am happy for them but definitely not envying anyone. I want to make sure I feel right about things first.

Give me guidance..:)

Adam dan Hawa

Came across this and entah kenape airmate mengalir aje ..


Kalau ape yang disebutkan Itu dijadikan pegangan oleh kaum lelaki, takkan ade la perempuan yang hidupnya merane, sedih dan rase tersekse. Tak akan ade terasenyer batin mereke disekse.

Mana ADAM saya?

Sudahkah saya temuinya?

Cinta hadir bersama kasih
Rindu bertandang dengan sendirinya
hasrat hati hendak berkasih
pilihan hati harus yang pandai menghargainya

Hati sakit, hati pedih
Laku siapa, salah siapa?

Kata maaf sudah hilang maknanya
disalah guna hanya untuk menutup sindiran

I just feel that its time I continue to write again. I had better channel all my frustrations and feelings to my writing. Its healthy and hassle free. Plus, I will feel much better after all of it.