National Day at Botanic Gardens

 Hey hey. Wondering what I should be talking about and realized that the long weekend was neither here nor there. hahaha

The weekend was cray crazy..! I can't stop thinking that today is a Sunday. And that means I am feeling abit urgh that this is a short week. 

 Well, it was the National Day weekend and National Day always makes me happy. I am neither patriotic nor crazy but I have always personally loved 9th August.  The day I get to watch videos of the nations struggle and getting back up, our forefathers and then get emotional at every videos. I get to sing the anthem, say the pledge. Hahah.. It was fun for me. Thank you!

Well, started the day amazing! We had our weekly workout routine at Botanic Gardens this time. We want Nature and that was Nature at its best. Other than the fact that the weather was scorching and draining all of our energy, I am pretty sure we had fun exploring every inch of Botanic Gardens. 

If you don't already know, Botanic Gardens is huge, with lots of paths and if I have a tip for dear 'trekkers', plan out your walk. But if you still prefer the unknown, sure, go.. We thought it was an easy walk so we went unplanned. Became adventurous, turn into every path and then getting out at God knows where. And since the weather wasn't helping, getting to 15k steps was dragggggggy.

(We managed though. But not after we lost our way to the car :) )

So, my back is not in the best shape. It has been aching since yesterday and I refuse to think it could be due to the walk. Been plastering medicated plaster on my back since earlier but it doesn't seem to go away. The other option is to consume the muscle and joint Panadol but I don't want to. So, I think I shall resort to some stretching before I go to sleep?

My life in 2020

I haven't been here in my cave for as long as I can remember. And oh my, have life been so different from the last time I checked.

Was contemplating if I should write today but I guess the K-drama, lovely horribly, that I have been watching plus the intense thought of trying to write a drama script made me finally logged into Blogger. 

Blogger has changed alot and so have my life.

1 year. Equal to 12 months. 12 months of roller coasters, 12 months of learning about myself, 12 months of constant learning. Self, business, people. And I am pretty sure when I look back at my life in the next 12 months, it will again be a huge difference. 

I can say I am still the same person I used to be. I've always believed the world could be a better place. If anything changed, it would be my perspective on so many things, ie life. 

Since 10 years ago, when I started my career, I have always tried my best at everything that was thrown to me. I believe that I can learn anything and my skills and experiences could always use an upgrade. I never complain. I actually like being good at my job.

Plans changed. Fast forward 10 years later, my experiences do come in handy. I am in a good place. Life hasn't always been easy. But I enjoy every second of it. Am I done learning? Not even close.

I am still learning everyday. Be it in my field or something new. I guess that's what makes a good employee/employer, right?

It's not easy and learning is tiring. I have always liked the idea of business. I was just too naive and oblivious. Didn't know it was possible. I started late, as a result.

Looking back, if I have 1 regret, it is not knowing who T. Harv Eker, Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor were. Just naming a few..

Seeing the perfect you

My heart yearns for you

To be with you

My heart fear for you

It beats for you

I love more than I can ever imagined

I love more than I thought is possible

I lived everyday fearing one day you will see more of me

more of my imperfection

more of my shortfalls

I lived fearing that if you see those of me, 

you will break me like noone else could

because of how much I feel for you..

how much I believe you wouldn't

I see you the highest possible could 

I surpass my view to see only your good

I trust and believe in your highs and lows
For I love you dearly..
And seeing the perfect you is the only I could bring myself to do

*random please

:)

Life is indeed so much better ya?

They say good things happen to those who wait.

Well, I wasn't waiting.. You dazzled into my life. You made it beautiful. I smile more.. I laugh more.. I believe in my self- worth.

But well, life isn't always fair.. It gives you one but not the other

As I sit and stare at you at this very instant, my heart is full.. Full from all the love I feel for you. Full from all the overflowing feelings

I can only hope at this point that your forever would only be better than this. And that you will only be the happiest at every point..

..

Urgh! What else can I say

Life is difficult!

Meaning one thing and then saying another thing. What other damn choice do I have. Sometimes I wonder what kind of big nonsense have I done to deserve all this shit!

Truthfully, I am tired. Really tired of all this. I want what I want but why is it that everything I want always seems to be so wrong.Dammit! 

I said its fine but damn who am i kidding? What the hell is fine anymore? Just a neutral easy expression to describe if I am actually not bloody fine? 

UAE baby~~

Hey hey bloggy.. Whats' up????

Well. For one, I am in my Jurong office. No longer Mapletree Labrador huh? But then again, just when I thought its kinda confirmed that I am no longer going to Labrador, my manager have to go and tell me that they have asked for my CVs.. Now, that.. I dunno how to react to as much I would be happy to go back there
But then again.. Screw that bit.. Lets talk about point no 2.

 

I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE UAE!!!!!!

 

Well man.. The trip was awesome!!!! I can go on and on about how awesome and wonderful the trip is but then that would take me 7days. Haha..

 

So, Abu Dhabi was great! I would so love to go back there some day.. Hospitality great, hotel was great, food was great and the company was awesome. 

 

2 things I need to brag here. So please dun mind me.

 

The Desert Safari was OH MY GOOODNESSS! The dune bashing, the camel ride, belly dancing and the sand boarding. Damn man..! Wait, the sunset too.. It was ama~~~~zing~~~ Thank goodness we have got the most amazing couple from Chicago in the Rovers with us. And the journey was da bomb! Star Gazing was ama~~zing~~.. I have never done stargazing before and my oh my, are they beautiful or what?!

 

The second thing would be the EMIRATES PALACE! Having our lunch in a 8 * hotel! Now now.. Wasn't that wonderful. The foods were sooo good and the ambience.. MAJESTIC~~

 

Anyway..

 

I learnt breaststroke in 3days.. How awesome was that? Not that I am perfect at doing it yet. But at least I can do it!:)

 

The tour was great. The place was simply beautiful. Although it feels a lot like walking dead. As in, the shopping malls, the zoo and the Ferrari world were close to empty. But then, that's what makes everything simply better, less people meaning no bumping into each other and we can leisurely take  a stroll in the supermarket! .

 

Dubai on the other hand was the opposite. It was packed with tourist. People from all over the world flocking in Dubai. But simply because its a beautiful place. We went to the Burj Khalifa, Underwater zoo, see sea animals fight among themselves, watch the amazing musical fountain at Dubai Mall. You know that excites me a lot right? haha..

 

The Souk was fine. A lot of damages were done but its kinda worth it when I see everyone so happy. We met a nice lad form Pakistan who served us patiently. With all kindness! Shopping at Souk was very good. Madinat was another beautiful place. When night falls, the place instantly transform into light paradise. I can't begin to explain how beautiful it is,.

 

So.. after summarizing my whole journey, I am glad to say that I enjoyed myself so much. My companies were great. Taking care of each other and making sure everyone enjoyed themselves to the fullest.

 

My trip to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, they are just the beginning of many more beautiful wonderful trip. For now, these memories and the things that happen there, they will all be kept so close to me.

 



Hating it but do i have a choice?

Life is unfair
Very unfair
But then again.. all I have to do is leave my faith to Allah and believe that HE has a great plan for me
Even if I have to hate this part right now


I wish I am more sabar in dealing with all these shit
Coz sometimes I realized that I live in a fairytale world
Where people would fight for you
where people will appreciate you


Funny thing is that I never learn my lesson.
This is not the first time
This shit happened many times
Different occasions
But tu la.. never learn


So now, I am kinda in this position again where I actually hate everything and everyone


Mungkin betol la I tolak rezeki but then again who are you to tell me that?
Who are you to say that I did the wrong thing?
There is a reason why I didn't accept in the first place.


But like I say, who are you to say anything about my decision?
And then bringing that up when I am clearly upset
Surely dun make you guys wise and mature
Kalau orang yang buat, tahu pulak tak suke.


But haiz.. Manusia kan..


If you are not in my position, you will never understand
If you have never gone through the crap I have gone through,
then you are in no position to say anything
Or.. even your comments and views are not necessary.
Well, unless if they are not painful to listen to
But most of the time, they are.


So.. all I do now is hope that things go well for you guys,
I am clearly very disposable
You guys made it clear to me


Time to move on Tqah~
And like always, you'll be awesome any way
In Shaa Allah :)

If only

If only you knew how much ache I have felt
If only feelings can be described in words
Then you would understand better

If only you knew how important this is to me
If only you realize how deep this have gone to be
Then you would know better

Every moment,
Every second of my time
I wish you were here by me

Close
but not close enough
The pretense made it further than it should be
The hiding made it difficult than it already is

But through and through
I cant help falling deeper than I have been

That man whom I can't have

Love was never really an easy thing
As beautiful as it is,
The heartache, the pain can sometimes be the whole reason why people give up the idea all over

The whole process of falling in love is tiring.
Truthfully, I am sick and tired of the whole falling in love shit
Its either the jerks..
Or the one whom I can't possibly have

The one I can't have..
Haa

They are the one that makes falling in love feels like the most fun
They make falling in love worth all the effort and heartache
But well..
that's before the heartache really kicks in

You know when you love someone so much.
Despite knowing from the very start that it was near impossible.
Wait! Scrap that...Impossible
to see a future together.

But because of how beautiful it all feels.
Because of how right it feels
Because how he makes the heart ache for him
Because of how it feels like you are his only universe when he looks at you
But mostly just how he makes you feel so happy.. So strong.. and so WORTH IT

Those were why it feels like
'I'll deal with the pain when it comes'
'It will be worth it'
'Things will change'

Fat hope I'll tell you

But then again..
Sometimes..
Only sometimes..
When we hope enough,
miracles can happen

when it all came crashing down.. it dies

I am no longer happy.

I drag myself to places.. I don't want to face people. And  I am not happy about everything. I get flustered about everything. I get defensive over everything. I get pissed off if someone say something that irritates me,.. Even if a little bit.

I dunno what happen to me.
I know I've pissed my bestfriend off. bcoz everytime he says something, I'll just shrug it off and say  'ntah'. The one infamous deadly word. 'NTAH'

It is hard. And my head is agreeing to my mood. How i hurts every now and then. How it drains out my everything.

Idk what I should do.. Should I pursue my happiness elsewhere? Or is this a very big obstacle I need to overcome. Either way, it is not easy.. Never easy.

All I do is hope that this streak ends soon. Eventhough deep down I dunno how that is going to happen if I dun do anything. It feels like right now, I need people to take decision away from me and make it for me.

Living life based on decisions made for you is easier than having to think of what to do and be fearful that it is the wrong choice ever made.

My bday is coming..

Hello saying..

Today is the 11^th. So.. That means that tomorrow is 12^th and it is my BIRTHDAY!!!!

 YAYYY! 

Alhamdulillah..

Lets not get too happy. Its not tomorrow yet. Haha

Like every other year, I will sit and think about what I have achieved the last year and then the bigger scale, thinking about what I have achieved in the 26 years of my life.

I would think that I have not gotten or done much. But in fact, I had done quite a few things I am proud of.

In shaa Allah by my next birthday next year, I can include getting my degree as an achievement that I have accomplished.. I harap2 sangat to get the degree. Because that is the one more thing where I can share that moment ngan my parents and see them so proud and happy.

Ok.. I ade keje.. Later when I free, I will write again ok sayang..

The beauty of it all

Hey Bloggy

Just a few things:

-Exams

-Career

-Wedding

-House

Hehe.. Just 4 things but they all also happen to be the 4 big things in my life right now. 

I am still finding a job. Sending in my resumes.. But on off ah. Kadang-kadang tu mcm malas da nak carik keje lagi..Hahaha.. Asek no calls aje..

My exams are coming tapi like every other semester, I am not really very confident. YET! But it is going to be fine I hope. In Shaa Allah.

My house.. Hmm.. We wait for June for selection and then we see how it goes from there. I macam hoping that we successful.

Wedding..!!! Hahaha... This one is taking up most of the space in my head. The tunang will say ' I pikir banyak2 mcm ade byk sgt bende nak kene buat gitu'

Well darling, theres alot to do..  Orang laki kan. They ingat senang je la kot. -.-

I am in the midst of planning everything out. Thinking of a few places or vendors, pikir kan backups incase yang I want sume takde. I have yet to pikir exactly how and what I want my wedding to look like. I have a rough idea tapi belom fully confirm la.. Skali nyer wedding kan, so I nak everything to be perfect. Walaupon my wedding takde la grand mane.. Biase biase je kot. But it has to run smoothly.

Things to take note on:

-Bridal

-Photographer and cinematography

-Catering and Decoration

-Transport

-Entertainment

-Wedding Car

-Berkat

-Hantaran

-Baju for my family

-My bridesmaids and what they wearing

-KADI

-A few other small small things but super important( sirih2 thingy, pulut)

I think orang tak pernah ade problem thinking about their bridesmaid tapi for me.. Thats one of my problem before everything started. Haha.. Macam takot je ape yang I nak sume tak dapat.. Soon nanti I go propose la. Hahaha..

Ok.. Got to go now sayang.. Lets hope that everything is going fine and smooothly ook..:)

Quite awhile now

Hello dear dear...
It has been awhile since I last write...


Been busy lately.. with stuffs.. haha
Been trying to decide on where to go for our overseas holiday. Got excited over Phuket and Koh Samui of which it then have to be cancelled.. Then GOLD COAST! then again kene cancelled. Now.. Hong Kong!! Hoping this works out man!! hoping so much sey.


I have been trying to get people who love travelling to come follow me in this journey of business. But it sure ain't easy. The market is quite limited right now. And goodness, its difficult man.. Haha.. I am hoping that soon, things change for us and that everything is going to look good for all of us.


School has started and its very mendakkk... Nothing new ya.. Hahah..


Work starting soon now.. Talk to you again ya bloggy...:)

A Testy Week

Hello there baby bloggy


Right now, I am having weird feelings. Like.. My partner in crime have served her last day at work and I have to now endure this place all by myself. Not complaining because this place is sure nice to work in. But who do I have when I need to complain about things. Yeah.. I have Jen.. But she is leaving too.. Very soon rather than later. And after that, I can cruise along the way all by myself


Crap man.. The feeling is definitely sucky to the max ah.. But urgh!!!!!! Got to tahan..


Apart from this weird feeling, I don't know to say if I am mad or upset or disappointed.


Sometimes you work so hard but then when you are not appreciated, it tends to become a bit of a turn off. And who doesn't get piss off by that?!


I think the whole week has become a week of test for all of us. My family I mean. A lot of things are happening around us. Started off with Ally falling sick over the holidays and then Dely following suit. Only to have Ally be admitted to the hospital for like 4 days. What's wrong with her?I have no idea because the doctors in the hospital are not telling anything.. Irritating!!


Well well.. School will be starting soon and I am tired truthfully. Like, there are just too many things to do nowadays..


Times almost up at work.


See you again baby bloggy

Just the nroms

Hey bloggy


It is another boring day today.:(


Don't quite know the root of it but I certainly am sure that it is due to the fact that I will be spending the whole day doing data entry. Too bad for me then.


Lets tell you something interesting.


MY exams are over!!( Gratefully)
And I....... am excited for my trip with the WV family.. Oh man.. if I can pack my bag now and go.. I'll certainly do just that..  Hahaah... Excited much.. but having to leave my family for that period of days are abit of a heartache. But i'll come back dear family...


Anyway, me and dear tunang have been searching for a place to call our family nest. Shortlisted 2 areas and right now, we have to meet to put all into perspective and finally go ahead and apply the house. Oh goodness.. I am excited.. But scared.. Hopefully things are going to be fine.


ok.. Need to unfortunately work again.. ahahha... See you soon bloggy

Sucky

I dunno if its the swing that is affecting my mood today or just that its not a good day.

The whole day was just boring and tiring and kinda dead for me. I mean.. It was just a SHAGGED day if I were to describe it,

Thought that it was probably only due to work and payroll period that made me feel so sour today. But guess what? It dragged on even after work ends,after I left office. Just that I do not know what the factor if it was. Its irritating!!!

I cant describe the feelings I have right now. I started crying out of the sudden. It was stupid when I think of it. It was probably normal for her when she said it. She wasn't really scolding me to be honest, but why is it that what she said hurts so much.

You know when you feel that you are needed.. But only to fill up the hole. No one really looked up to me. Not that I ask for that. But you know, sometimes I wish that no one gives a rats ass about what I am thinking or feeling or just saying.

Well, I am only ranting. No need for anyone to feel the pinch.

Another boring day, hence the another boring post

It is just another boring day at work. Blurg!

Hey bloggy.. I do not have any interesting story to tell you actually. Hahaha…

Well, I miss my colleagues back in the office. I was looking forward to the end of October to go back to where I belong. But just that one fateful call has to ruin my whole plan to say Sayonara to this place. But guess, Allah has other plans for me.

They say, ade hikmah for everything that happens. And that is what I’ve been telling myself and what I will be telling myself for the next 12 months.

12 months??!! Can you believe it?

Not that I hate being in this situation. I love my job here. I don’t mind doing this job but you know when your just not comfortable with the atmosphere here.

In school, there were some classes about organisation culture and about how important that is in the success of an organisation. And about how that also play a huge role in an individual’s career satisfaction. NOW, I am facing them and I would have to say that the organisation culture probably was a huge impact too.

It is safe to say that the culture here and there is sooo very different.

Can I just take the job and then go back to where I was initially.

If only we can choose what we want to do with our life and our job. Haiz..:(

Oh wait a minute.. Hahaha.. Actually we can! The answer is WORLDVENTURES!

HAHAHAH… How could I just forget you. But oh well, that is a job too.. With a plus point you could decide who you want your colleagues to be and also work whenever you feel like working. Hahahaha..

But first first, need to work hard to run the business first.. Nothing comes easy and free you see. If it was like that, I would have already been a millionaire. Hahaha.. Anyway, this plan is going to work. In Shaa Allah it is going to work. I know it can work. Just need to run with the business.

But right now, let’s just try to finish my exams first. Haha.. It is frustrating to not be able to work on my business wholeheartedly because of the exam that is coming..

Oh well bloggy. GTG soon. I CANT WAIT FOR THE CLOCK TO STRIKE 6.

See you soon darling..:) (*kisskiss*)

10.10.2015 WV launch party!

Alright bloggy syg..

Actually I am very very tired and a little bit sleepy. But as I lie down on bed, I have this naggy feeling to get up and blog about my life.

First up, today was a really awessssooommmmeeee day. I cant begin to explain how happy I was.. Sure did not make the wrong choice. Its great to know and see for yourself the foundation that are shun by others grow so big and so well. And like a friend said, WE ARE EXPLODING! Its a great feeling. I do not know everyone but after today, I at least made 2 new friends, reunited with some old friends and became closer with my already new friend. It was a great exposure. A great day all in all. It was nice being able to be mingle around and be who you are with this people. Not fearing that they will not like you.

I am especially excited because the fiance is also there to spend and celebrate the launch of our Asia's headquarters. This is EPIC! and getting to spend time with him is the bonus.
I hope that our business, our dream for our future will come true. For everything that happens, is within His plans.

Well next, as you may well see and know syg, I am ENGAGED! Ok ok.. I know I am about 2 months late..  But it always feels that it was seconds ago.(NOt sure if thats a god thing). I am happy. Alhamdulillah. Sure, I feel like strangling him with my own bare hands sometimes but I guess thats the small test in life and in this new phase of life we both share. He is a pain. But at least He is my pain. And I believe that if I am right, If I only had the best of intention in his life and relationship, then Allah will help to make it easier and smooth sailing for me. A few bumps are fine,When I sabr, thats when blesssings are countless, In Shaa Allah.

Well, life isnt always gonna be flowery. There are thorns. There are problems, there are issues. But I believe, Allah tau niat kite and HE also knows whats right and whats wrong for us. Pin pointing and blaming someone is not a great thing to do.

I guess thats all I have got to say. It was a nice day and I feel good having someplace to rant my happiness and sorrows. Thank you.. my faithful bloggy.

Ps:
Alright! Right now, I am tired.. But my dear beloved is still outside there blowing onto his lover.(I mean the trombone ya). How do I sleep exactly while knowing he is still outside and not yet home.?

Aku rase diri ni kadang2 macam bodoh..
Mungkin betol la diorang cakap... maybe betol aku ni bodoh..

Sakit tau.. sakit sgt.. Tapi sape tau? Sape kesah?

Everyone feels that they need to have control over me.. Over what I do and what i feel.
Then when do I live for myself?

Sayang aku? Mereke yang sayang tu la yang menyakitkan dan menjatuhkan semangat aku. Hati ni sedih sgt. Tapi aku nak bilang sape? Sape yang boleh dgr and then not judge me?Sape yang will side with me and tell me everythings fine?

I know people are slammng me down for what i aspire to do. But to expect that from my loved ones, sakit sangat2..

Kenape feelings ni keep haunting me? I dun like.. I am supposed to be happy. I shouldn't be fighting or arguing.. Bcoz that affects everything. It changes everything.

My feelings? I am not one to give up on what I have or what I want. So I tak pernah akan sacrifice my feelings untuk anything.

Dreams are meant to be reached for. Its meant to come true. My dreams are not difficult. It just needs work and effort. I am only human.. where do I get strength and motivation from? How do I conquer my dreams if I have no strength and power to do so.. You know, the feeling of seeinng your dreams crumbling down right before your eyes. Its heartbreaking. Thats how I am feeling right now.

My heart is breaking. And noone gives a crap about it. Everyone feels that their opinions matter the most. What about mine? When can people stop running my life and let me run it myself?

Gitu senang i dipersalahkan when it goes wrong. And gitu mudah orang lain buat keputusan for me.

People, I am tired. I need people who would be by me through everything. Bukannyer I buat bende yang tak bagus. I  understand that I am very ambitious. Tapi my ambition is possible, Something that ppl will never take me seriously for. Dun think it doesnt hurt me. It does. But I just choose to laugh and smile it out.

Satu hari, dgn berkat Allah and kerje keras I sendiri, I will be where I dream of being. Cume I ingin kan support dari them, yang kate they sayang me.

A quick one..

Hello sayang bloggy.

Haha.. I rase I je sorang yang maseh blogging my personal entry in this world. Haha.. drama mama

Alright bloggy. I cume nak bilang you je.. Thats I rase soon, I will be on you quite oftern.

Bye darling bloggy. Nanti i get on you again ok,...:)