Returns..

'Apa dugaan lagi yang akan diberikan kepadaku?'

Sometimes when you sit down and think about life:the past,present and future,you would either smile,frown,laugh or cry at it..

I smile too much today..So much..Let's just say that I didn't expect things..The people around me..My friends in school..My family at home..

He's returned
I love him
I miss him
Ya..as a deary

Ok.So..I was laughing and smiling today..Alhamdulillah..Thank for letting me go through 1 day with laughter and smiles without any worry..

'Why am I not surprised?

Fun and funnny

Taking a break from my assignments and other-other stuffs..

Wow..!!Someone is in a so-called dilemma!!Someone having the soccer fever!!Someone stressing about the work he/she is doing!!Someone is guilty and scared about something!!And someone is trying to give me advices which,I,liked always, will not listen to..

Haha..Looking and laughing at my own deary friends trying to handle their life is so fun.Especially when all of them are your best-est friend!!Haha.

But looking at me yet again,I'm smiling..:) I truly am..But someone who haven't been seeing me for so long says that I'm not smiling from my heart..Hey I am ok..!!Why shouldn't I when I've got all my dearest around me all the time,no matter where I am..Heh,you..this paragraph is for you eh..Please terase ok..haha..And sorry about yesterday and ermm..thanks for all that talking..And for a new friend, you understand me..Thanks.

Life has been so wonderful!!!Heh...
Monday: Sat for Maths paper..Ok la..Can pass..Insyallah..Then go lepakz at stadium with Zura and Fah and it was sooo fun and funny!!haha.
Tuesday:Sat for DSA paper..I really2 hope I pass that paper..I really2 want a B or A for the paper..
Wednesday:Sat for WDD paper..I shall not say anything about it..To those who know what happen..You know ok..And went for audition and I shall not say what happen during that time also..To those who knew what happen,then you knew..
Thursday(today):Open up my planner and I see tons of works to do..So,I got myself started..
Friday(tomorrow):Got to go school for CS class..And lets see what happen tomorrow aites..

Raudha:Thanks eh..You were always there when problem came..haa..
Liana:Girlfriend:I love you lots2..!!haa..Thanks ya..
Zura & Fah:We shall all not worry,we shall pass the common tests!!hee

Urggh!!

Its 3am and here I am blogging..Haiz..

I should have slept like 5 hours ago but whats preventing me from doing so is because its sis's poa and maths paper tomorrow and she haven't study..And ya..I have to teach her..Urgh..But now,she's sleeping while I stay awake,struggling to study for my WDD test tomorrow..And for the very first time in my life,I'm close to tears studying..Know why?Because I have 8 more hours only before the paper starts..And I haven't study..I haven't memorize anything..

I cannot flunk this paper..I just can't..Because I know I did really2 badly for the past class assessment..

But maths and DSA paper was alright..Manage to do and I truly hope I got my A's..At least a B will do..Insyallah

*Cries

Haiz..

I don't mean anything...I didn't mean to make you angry and I didn't mean any harm..Haiz..Guess this is how its really going..

But I'm gonna be patient.Really am going to..Ain't going to fling..For I'm a very patient person.. I want that friendship back because as bad as you say that its alright,I still think its disappearing..No need to think who I meant and everything people..I'm tired..So,as of today,I will try to stop writing all these things and I shall do what I can..

To ma dearies who will be sitting for their common test this week,ALL THE BEST AND DO YOUR VERY BEST,ok..!!!

Nothing..

Was doing something which after much concentration,I felt that it was actually pointed out to me.Well..Not directly but I can just feel it la..Haiz..Now tell me.Am I suppose to cry now or should I just ignore the thing(bcoz it might not be pointed out for me)?

Is finding your own happiness,just trying to be happy for the people around you such a difficult task?I dunno..But it seems that it is for me..I am smiling now as I'm writing this entry but my mind is wondering off somewhere..To say that I would avoid the 'thing',I just won't,because without it happening,situation is still gonna be like this.I am sure because the 'thing' that happen is not the reason to why things happen..!But I told you it was.Sorry!

I suck at telling what I truly feel..I suck at making true confession..So here,I wanna say what I am feeling ok..:
I feel that you dun want to talk to me
I feel that you dun even care
I feel that the precious diamond I'm defending all this while is gonna soon vanish

Haa..I've tried to make it an I-message as the best-est as I can..But IF dier understand and if dier know that its for dier and if dier feel that I'm pointing it to dier..Then I'm sorry because I am just stating my feelings..But I think dier will not even read my blog again!Sobs!

I think I've been swallowing too much that I can't go on anymore..But no matter what,just see..I will for sure swallow again when problem arises.Haiz..

I remembered the time when I fall..A week ago..I swear.Ya..I swear when I fall..What a thing to do..I shouldn't but it just slipped out.And when I was sitting down and realized that I've got wound on my hand and that my knee was grazed,I was on the verge of tears..Despite the fact that the guy who helped me up was a cute CHINESE guy.I wanted to cry not because of the pain I felt but because all the tears I've prevent from coming out all the while,was almost out that time..And I know,I wil get freaking emo if I started out crying.I know I couldn't stop!

I've endured the pain..Zura and Fah was the only 2 who asked about my hand..Thank you gerls.Wani was the next one to ask.I've got many reason to burst into tears now but I won't..I thought it would be a bit different..Can help me feel like as if I dun have any pain..But you just weren't there..Haa..I know..Its ok.!!

So..If you're still even reading this blog of mine..Thank you.In case you are thinking that I m asking for too much as a friend,I am truly sorry but this is the way I am.And I've treated you more like a close friend to me..I was only hoping if you could be alittle bt honest with me..That's all.

~All are loved~

DSA!!URGH!

You know,it feels so great to finally get your brain to function once again after a long day of trying..Heh..

Ya,I was trying so hard to understand my DSA but I cant.Went suddenly,looking at a particular question and an answer from I-dunno-where knocked into my head.Haa..Question after question and I can answer them..And trust me,I was smiling along the way..Haha..Fun!

But then,now I can't understand the last part to it..The 'sorting' thing!!arrgggh!!Too tired I guess..Urgh!

And you!You didnt scare me with the 'crite hantu' ok..!!eww!!know why?because my bro was with me..aha..But its creepy la..I dun need the details all la..

I'm just gonna be me ok..?I shall not force anything out and I shall not avoid anything k..

I miss you dear 'darling' friend!I really2 do..

Bored

Ya,I know that I've just post an entry not an hour ago but I'm just bored ok..Eventhough I've got tons of things to do..

Been blog-hopping and all I can say is that I am impressed by what I've seen..It has been less than 2 months but I can see them all so happy and comfortable being with us here..I know I've not been the active member of MCG(I went to every training ok.only that I dun fit in that much).Ye.you all can say that I'm no fun but trust me,if there's one thing I could do,It is to fit in!But somethings just bother me soo much that it's taking over my body..Urrghh!!

I've got a few undone things to do:
I want go to the top of Esplanade,again!
I want to take the flyer
I want to go beach to shout
I want a cup of Starbuck's coffee,again!

I'm in a lost state..Really..A really big lost..
The wound that cause terrible pain to my hand is half-killing me..
Yes,I want to avoid everything but I thought you know why but ..
And finally,I ...............

Have you ever?

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

**Life is so full of randomness,right?

Ma gerlfrend..

I know I'm exaggerating but it seriously feels like as if I've just wake up from the dead..Macam mati hidup semule like that..

Gerlfriend(hee),thanks so much for the time you spend to listen me out ya..I really miss the kinda talk we had tau..Haha..But seriously,I wasn't surprised to know that you knew about the situation..I dunno why but I kinda expect you bringing it up la..Haha..But I do have fun talking to you tau..

Don't hope and don't ragu-ragu..We all do love you sooo much..
And ya,I will make sure things gets right..I will!!Thank you again gerlfriend!

tsk!tsk!

Today was such a long day..I'm too tired and am too restless and am to disappointed..

Went to school at 10 for training and I truly enjoy and am happy to see my lovely ps-ians..Meetings and all and had fun..

Didn't expect the day to be so painful!!-Mentally and physically!!

Things happen for a reason

I missed Ngee Ann's production..My bad aites..

But hey,everything happen for a reason.Saturday afternoon,Dad came back home from work with the company's lorry!!Woohhoo...And he brought us,the family out..Oh and not forgetting my 10 year old couz.Went to East Coast to rent bicycles and ya,me,sis and bro went all the way past the Bougainvillea garden.But you can never predict what will happen next..I bang sis and poor her for falling down with me but luckily she didn't get any bruise..I got them..My knee grazed and blood was oozing out from my right hand.Yea.It was scary to see that much blood coming out from my hand.But I did not cry!!It hurts real much..But I did not let it spoil my day.Time came and we were up the lorry again to Changi..I reallyhad no idea of the Singapore road and all but since Dad took the top road,I could see the flyer so clearly as it was smack right in front of me.Night before we all went home,we spend time at Changi Beach,Dad drove around City,Town area and we went to watch the aeroplanes!!!haha.It was an amazing day..

Sunday today,woke up only to know that the plan to go East Coast to swim was still up!!Trust me,I was soooo pissed cause I cant join the fun beause of the pain I had.Heart pain you know.!But its ok.Soon,was joined by couz's family..We then went to eat and lepakz here and there..Hhaa..I had so much fun..

I know todays entry is soooo lengthy..Haha..Sory for taking up so much of your time but thanks..Bless you all..

'I miss you'

I wonder what the phrase 'i miss you' means to people..Well,maybe everyone have different definition about what it means..

Here I wanna ask.Does missing someone means when you have not been seeing them for days or maybe weeks?Easy said,does missing someone means not seeing that someone's face?Because everytime I say I miss someone,they will think I meant that we have long not met..Is it really that?you miss someone because it has been so long since you last saw them.?

Some of my peeps may have got the phrase "i miss you' from me a day after we last met.Or maybe a few hours after we last met..But what do I truly mean when I say I miss them?Have you peeps ever thought of what I truly2 meant? Or maybe its just because you think that missing someone means not seeing their face?I shalln't expose what I mean by the phrase 'I miss you'..Maybe not ever..If you guys have got the time to spare to think about it,thank you so much..

Because when I say 'I miss you', it means more than just not seeing your faces..Because if I wanted to see your faces,I've got loads of your pictures with me that I can look at any time..

Not that anyone care..

I've violated my own rules.Two of them..Both of which,I cant help but violate.

Yea..I'm back my dear friends.But not with a changed me..Haha..Not that anyone would miss me right??haha...

Ok...here I go..

I miss my mcg mates soooo much..Dunno why but I truly do miss you guys alot..I miss Zura and Fah also much2..hee.

Been spending my days with books,family and lavender..Heehhe..Had such a great time with them even though all I do is stay at home and maybe out some other time..But I had fun..It feels like heaven not having to worry about stuffs..Not having to think about people who don't think about you and think about things which doesn't mean a thing to other people..And so..yeap, I'm smiling now..

And ya..The guy I truly2 love so much is seeing someone now..Instead of being pissed,I'm amazed that I can be smiling..Well,I am soo happy for him for finding someone..And haha...I still do love him..So much..

I'm feeling a very huge,tall barrier between us..It seems that when I look at you,I'm looking at someone else..Not your fault..Perhaps its mine..!!haa...But it seems that forcing a feeling to go away sucks..It never work for me...Right?hee....So I shall be patient ya..That's what I do best.!!

And I miss my deary sistaz...Can't wait to meet them soon..!!Can't wait to burden them more with my miseries and problems..Haha...There I said,18 means nothing to me!!

A week only..

This might be my 'last' post before I go missing..Yea..I'm going to be away.Away from Internet and away from any communication from the net..I'm doing this for a particular reason..And trust me,its very hard for me to finally come up with the decision but I eventually did..

A week is long..It is for me to avoid you..I just have to because I am so tired of all the rushing here and there..Tired of all the chatting and tired of all the thinkings..I shall let my mind go for a holiday...I'm burdening it too much already.

A week guys..And insyallah,I will come back as the real Nuratiqah.I will come back as the cheerful me,no fake laughter.And I shall come back with that sweetest smile,no fake smile.As long as I can avoid 'it',I will..Coz I'm tired of running..

hEEHEKZ..

Some might already be wondering why I've been changing my blog skin so frequently..Well,I'm getting bored soo easily..And I'm bored of all the greens and all..And ya,I don't really like my new blog skin bcoz its all in the middle.But it's ok..Its black..

Firstly,thanks Shamin for recommending that website about TAurus!!Haha..It made me smile and laugh coz most of them are true..haha..

Secondly,just to say that I can't wait for Layar Andayu's trainings and rehearsals.Can't wait!!!weeeEEEee!!

Thirdly,I'm in love with my lavender,.Woo..Its still alive you know..!!

Fourthly,I'm having 2 stead..Haha...Shocked?Shocked?

Fifth,I still sayang my darling..Haha..And I miss him.And eh,I dun believe!!!prove it?!

And lastly,I love everyone!!!!!SO MUCH OK!!!!EVERYONE!!!!I MEAN IT!!!!

Wat's the feeling?

This few days hadn't been a nice relaxing one for me.I tried to push everything aside but it seems that the feeling isn't going anywhere just yet.It sucks to live with this kind of feeling.. Anxious..Disappointed..Sad..'resah'..confused..What's wrong with me? As I'm typing this entry right now,I can't stop myself from thinking about ........... !! My goodness,get my mind off these things..Put my mind far from these thinkings..Put me far from him!!

I can't..I know of a thousand individual who would be happy and willing to do me the favour but I can't seem to even want to be far..I tried doing confessions(to myself)..But whatever that came out from this mouth of mine are all lies..What will become of me.?

I'm tired of this feeling.I'm truly2 exhausted trying to defend this feeling and all..I'm not strong anymore to defend this feeling..Not anymore.

Should I just let it stay like it is now or should I backed out bit by bit.?*cries

self reflection

Watched 27 dresses and I would say,it was a very nice one.Haha..I was thinking and thinking where the title 27 dresses come from until the part finally showed..Hekz..But still gonna rate it at 3.5/5..Nice movie but nothing impactful I would say.And yeap.my opinion only..

Been wondering and reflecting my behaviour these past weeks.And all I can say is that my Atiqah is all out..Haha..To those who have been getting the f-word from me like a few times..Haha..I warn you...!!Not sorry about it.Hekz..

So now,lets do some self-checked alright?

I'm still thinking with my head
I'm still the all patience girl
Heart still intact
Feelings still there
Emotions abit haywire but its ok I guess

Well,that's all for now and I'm tired of saying this.But still going to because this is what I'm feeling currently..IMY!!

watever it is!

IMY..

Today was a restless day..I've got terrible stomach pain attack..I slept throughout EC lecture..I didn't pay attention at all during OSM lecture..I forgot my Maths formulas..I didnt listen during WDD lecture coz I was busy tending to my painful stomach..Ya.many lectures right??Believe it or not..I survive the lectures I had from 8-6 today..Phew!And so,like normal,I went for meeting and as said,those people never fail to put a smile on my face no matter how pathetic I am feeling.

Ya,so,mostly,I realized myself laughing terribly and enjoying most was during the "girls" talk after the meeting..Haa...With Aten,Raudha,Wani and Rya but was soon joined by Ezzati and Rusdy..Haha..You people are sooo gerek!!hee..

I was shocked today by a confession made by a dear friend.He's in love!!wooohhooo..I was shocked ok?Bcoz I did not expect him to fall in love..heh!!Sory ya..but hey..Congrats and yeap..Good luck eh with ....... !!!!!!!hhahahahaha...Nevermind..Later I go find someone to fall in love with..hee!!!

Happy living peep-ples!!

Imissyou

movie

As I'm typing this..I smile..
Realized that everyone else are soo lazy to update their blog while I do that everyday.Haha..This shows that I've always got many stories..Haha..

So,I've just finished watching BRATZ..Nice movie.Gonna give like 3.5/5..OK..Nice plot and all but I just find the movie abit common..Haha..But still,I love the movie much2..hEE..Gonna watch 27 dresses tomorrow.Haa...And tomorrow is another long day..Waaaaaah!!!!!

-sexy naughty bitchy us-

I'm missing you

Great day for the beginning of June

June so far has been good...hee..
Well,is today the best day or what??

Went to school today and realized that I dun have my usual mood swings..Haha.Fah and Zura would understand what I mean..I think its simply because I won...Darling..I won!!hah...Like this.Every Tuesday morning must challenge each other aites..So,I was very hyper today..Not that hyper but happy2 la..Class was normal and after class,went to eat with Zura,Shamin and Kenneth.Hee..Fun la you guys..Talk and talk and then decided to go support Eggy for his percussion ensemble..Woo..I fall in love with him la..!!haha..I mean him while on stage performing..hee..For that 1 hour plus only.Hekz..But seriously,they were so good la..

Went home,only to be surprised by dear bro,Dinie..He bought me my LAVENDER!!!!!!I almost shout with excitement..But I did not coz dad was just in front of me.hehe...Man...I love my bro so much..I GOT MY LAVENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!Yay!!yay!!haha.....happy you know..I seriously dunno how to describe how I'm feeling.Just happy cum surprised by the lavender..Know how long I've been wanting the Lavender??1 year plus tau!!

Just an extra something bro gave me

So,anyway..Talked with the girls jsutnow.And here I would wanna ask..
"If you could choose who you want for your life partner,who would it be?"
With that..bye peep-ples!!

todae..todae..todae..

Its June!!Ohs wells!!

Back from training and yea,I realized that my left arm and left leg are so the very painful..Cannot whack..hee..But pain arh..Apart from the fact that I have been coughing so much today,especially during training..today was another fine Monday.Woke up today like normal..Having mummy to force me to eat many2 things for breakfast was so nice.It has been so long since she make me sit and eat in front of her..I love you sooo much ma..!!

Training today was lovely but if I were a little bit more dreamy justnow,I would have just die at that very moment at that spot..Thanks eh Meer..Other than that,I had fun today with all my lovely ps-ians.They never fail to make me smile..

Darling..I miss ya..Haha...eh..no la..aniwae..thanks for accompanying me in the morning..Eventhough you weren't there..heh..

Work..

Disturbed at 830 in the morning only to receive a call to ask me go work..I mean kendarat..heh..Yeap..Informed at the very last minute,I was given only half an hour to get ready before they would come and fetch me..Really..My poor body was screaming for me not to go but I need the money..Haiz.At last I went..

Was brought to Sengkang..Blk 116D...That's where the wedding was held..Looked around and realized that cousins house was nearby..Reached and realized that its just gonna be me and Hamizah..Start doing all those stuffs we were suppose to do and guests start to come..Thought I was the only one not feeling well.Miza got the sickness too..It was such a long day that we actually checked our watch for I think more that 20 times!But heh.With only the two girl youngsters there who were suppose to do our work,we entertained ourselves.Talked,dance,laugh,singing and camwhoring..hha..all done while working..Is that cool or what??But seriously arh..Thanks to her,I've got someone to kill my boredom with for the whole day..

Information: Calling for anyone who wants to make extra money.Kendarat job.Someone who can commit and responsible.Working on days which are needed only.Do inform me if your interested..Guys or girls..

I miss you..