malas btol aku!

Banyak time aku eh tukar blog skin lagi..Hhah..Memang banyak pon!

Ok..Nari aku malas sangat nak bobal English and I just wanna talk like the freaking normal way I talk..A mix of English and Malay everywhere like now..

Semalam 29/04/09 ade MCG orientation.Aku telah diarahkan untuk jadi spy kat group K..HHa..AH!ni dier identity aku smalam ye..Name saye Eliza..17 tahun..Course Nursing..Perangai sikit peh mcm mintak kene bantai je aku..Soft benar!haha..Tapi as time past,aku happy la macam the whole thing was fun la..despite the stiff neck and tiredness..The committee and OGLs were all very very good..I mean I can really see the fun and hyper side of them yesterday and it was really really good to see.And the face on my group freshies upon knowing that I'm a spy was indeed really cute..And wait,our group won the race challenge!!Woohooo!!!Zaidah,Afiq,Rini,Hilmi..You people are the best..Cool...!!

And did I say that my bertuah nyer mataer actually gave me a surprise yesterday..Ya..That liar actually said he was reaching home and in actual fact he was actually strolling to the lecture theatre..Ass!!But still,hes the best!!Hha..

Erm..Aku ngah bosan nie sebenarnyer..Tak tau nak buat ape..Chat ngan Shamin pon.otak aku mcm lembab lak tibe2..Nak buat networking,tak boleh lak sebab packet tracer kalau pakai susah,nak kene config sume balik..Nak tdo tapi mcm tak nak..Ape aku nak sebenarnyer pon aku tak tau.ISK!

Sebenarnyer sekarang nie aku rase macam nak jerit nak nangis and I'm feeling so the resah..I know exactly ape sebab yang buat aku gini tapi aku tak akan bilang la..Its something I wont be telling my readers..Hha..Macam mane aku nak hilang kan rase nie is ??????Be pissed!!Yes!!!

Da berpuluh tahun aku cakap nak gi botanic gardentapi tak pergi2..isk!btol la!Bingit tau nie!Sape yang patot disalahkn?Hha..Actually byk la prg yang aku boleh tuding jari dekat tapi aku rase aku terlalu baik untuk sebut name sorang2 kat sini kan..Hha...

Da la..Sebelum aku go deeper into being sarcastic and feel like a real bitch,I think I would just stop here..Aku da malas nak typr lagipon..Ok..People..See you people soon..

Yes!Besok tak skolah!!

ps:I hate you but I love you..HEH!

Haiz..

Haiz..

Since the reopening of school,i've never been the ferst one to arrive to meet Zura and thats like very very bad!And thats why I'm hoping to be the early one tomorrow..I really have to wake up early to have my breakfast and all before heading to school.

I've got NSS quiz tomorrow at 815am.And I havent finish studying..I can't focus!And I dunno why..Maybe because I feel so uncomforatble now or because Im too tired and sleepy..But I know I have to study for tomorrow..I dun wan my marks gone just like that..I will in a while..

Everyone's having headache tonite..Not really everyone ah..Justnow Zura..then me and then bf also headache.Haiz..Must be the weather..Haiz..

Tomorrow going mcg somemore for the orientation..I seriously dun feel like going and just go home to rest but since i'm still dedicated to mcg and is still in nyp,then I have to.Despite the tirednes..Hope it shall all go off by tomorrow.

OK..I think I shall go away now..I'm very2 tired despite having chocolate in my mouth!

dum di dum di dum..

It seems like I'm updating like almost everyday..Hehe..Nvm..Maybe next week,I will blog less and go online also lesser..

I've been trying to find something to do since evening.I tried my very best not to on the lappy but I was so bored that I have to.I've finished reading my final book and thats like the last book until school is over.That is freaking long ley..OK..So I was online and all and did many stupid things..Like,checking out what mivie is showing in the cinemas,searching for new recipes,and whatever nonsense somemore la..

So,now,I've been crapping the last two paragraph bcoz I was thinking of what to update tonite..And I've decided to talk about my first week of school and maybe a few other things.

So here goes..The week was quote ok except for certain classes which my eyes just refused to open.Hehe..But other than that,I think school is gonna be great fun..

I want to comment comment here on some of my favourite pics:

Pic taken by Zura at Ramen Ten

At Jam N Hop 2008!I like.

This pic is just nice..Its just nice..

These ppl I'm with for 4 years and we'v been serving NSSNPCC

THIS!WAS A GREAT DAY AND EVENT at S'pore Expo Hall 6
For those who know,I'm crazy about planes
I find this on the Internet and find it super nice
This is somehow cute!

Ok..I'm done..ANd I wanna be off..So,bye people..
Baby,I miss you!!See you soon.!!!HEHE

weekend..woohoo!!

I've been spending my time on the Internet doing quizzes..Hha..Macam takde keje..I know!Quite a few quizzes I do and haha..Some of the results for the quizzes I did says, I'm 46% bitch,I attract geeks,I'm pretty(kakakaka),my name shud be Vanessa..Thats just some of it..

Ok..Weekends really what I've been wanting for..The best part of my week.Hha..I've gt 1 book to finish up by the weekend.Got to revise on my year 1 and 2 networking stuffs.I shall divide my time properly as of tomorrow,for the weekend.

Now,I'm yawning and yawning..Headache!!And I know I should stop and off my lappy now and go to sleep.But not yet..I shall do just that as soon as I'm done chatting with these 2 people..Its like a routine every night to be chating with them..But I like it..

ok,I'm gone.I am so the very the tired already..My shoulder ache has just attack!

Club Crawl done!

Club crawl done...Hhahaha...I've got the jitters before the performance started..

Make up was erm...Scary..I tried to ignore my bestfriend,the mirror because looking at my face freak me out..Hha..But nice make up.Hair was..my goodness,I can't take it..Since you know,my hair is the part of me that I love so much,so I actually almost wanted to cry thinking about the headache and pull and itch the spraying gel,bobby pins,the fake hair and everything else..But in all,eventhough I did think I look scary,I think those people behind how I look like did such good jobs.Thanks guys.

I didn't quite enjoy myself today..Purely because of the headache and the pain on my feet..I was barefootesd the whole day ok?And ya2..Thats how my day was ya..

Ok..I'm too tired to type already..

ps:I so want that lunch with couz..But gt class..How?

Sucky today

A few things already done for club crawl and I'm happy to see the work and effort put in by the juniors..I know I didn't help much..Thats because..Ah..nothing la..

Went for drama traning justnow and I dunno why I've been forgetting my lines again and again..Tries after tries..Practising was perfect but the actual time,I just can;t concentrate and remeber my lines..My goodness..I dunno what happen.2 more days to go but I'm like this already.This is crap!Ok..I will try to give my best tomorrow and definitely the best by Thursday ok..I will concentrate more.

Rya...I am sooooooo sory about justnow..I was so stressed up about forgetting my lines and I didn't mean to talk to you like that..I seriously didn't mean to..My goodness...I'm sooo sory..I'm not sure if you're gonna read this but I hope you somehow know that I dun mean it ya..

Today was not as best I expect it to be like from yesterday's update..It turned out pretty much suckish!I dunno..

But getting to see Halifah and a few others justnow was great!Hhaa..

Tomorrow is 22nd and its our 8th month..I'm not sure if I would be online tomorrow but whatever it is..Its our 8th and I want the whole world to know that I'm happy about it!!!I know it hadnt been even a year but we are nearing and hope to see better of it and I love him..Yes..I do!No matter how irritating this guy is and no matter how much I feel like killing him sometimes,I know I love him..And ya..I'm hoping for the best..

Let tomorrow be a wonderful day..It have got to be..It was suppose to be my(our) day.

Its a long entry so dun have to read!

School today was kinda fun..First class somehow was so unwelcoming..The class wasn't that welcoming..But goodness I've got Zura with me so it wasn't so strange in the strange class..Hhee.Met the ex-classmate and goodness,I miss them.Heh!

Sometimes I dun really understand some people.In order to look perfect and an absolute beauty,you leave people out.It's very irritating,seriously..I'm the freaking minority and I know I'm partly to blame for it.I'm not important sometimes and I dun understand why.Serious shit!Sometimes I just realise that I'm being at the very wrong place.I dun feel the sense of belonging there anymore.It's like going to a very new,different,strange place everytime..And I'm just plain dumb to be going there again and again despite the strangeness.
The reason why I dun want to make anymore friends is this.I'm tired of backstabbing.I'm tired of lies and I'm tired of them(some people)!I know I sound like a real bitch but I dun freaking care!I'm grateful I could still keep some courtesy here and I'm not running around with a foul mouth.For those who think I'm writing about them.then suit themselves.I can't be bothered to tell who its for and who its not..Its something random aniway.
But despite it all.I know there's still a small number of people there who still welcome my every presense.Not just for show but sincerely.I truly hope what i'm feeling is really right because if everyone is faking it,then I'm seriously falling out of place.Not that I care.Really!Its because of this people that sometimes I still think that my presence somehow matters.I'm not asking for red carpet and I'm not asking for undivided attention but i'm just not feeling like I'm much appreciated!(Am I too much?)

Why should I bother right?It's not like I'm getting anything from doing it..I'm doing it and they're done with me.But why I bother doing it is because I chose(more to like I'm forced(in the first place)) to do it and I take pride in doing what I do..(Scrap academic!).So,even if how bad shits happen and how unbothered people are with me,its my face you're gonna see till the day I'm done with all that I'm suppose to do.I dun realy care what people do.Thanks to Zura(why do I always say ur name),I learn to let words not affect me.It doesnt affect me physically..I sure do get up and stay strong but I can't deny the fact that my heart is aching and I feel that its so unjusticed!

Ah..Crap la..I'm typing something people might not understand!!And I just like the way it is..But if people do understand,I dun care even!!Hah..Because at this moment,my patience level is almost at the maximum and I think I've been tolerating those kind of shits for years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok...Erm..I hope tomorrow's a nicer day than today..And my goodness,I'm seeing blk S for my whole day tomorrow..Lab lab lab...Hha...Ok..Just hope for the best tomorrow..

Hope that club crawl went well.To those people who are doing whatever that's assigned tot hem,I hope they are all doing it sincerely and getting it done by the assigned date..Which is by the day club crawl starts..I know you people are up to it!!Hope nothing went wrong to our performance all..Drama,Tarian,Dikir..*Hoping*

Ok...Thats all the updates for today...Good night people..I love you people.!

Schooll!!!

Ok2..Gonna make this real quick and then,I'm gone.Ok?

Erm...Its the 19th and its the Sunday and that means that tomorrow is 20th and a Monday..ANd that means school reopening..Hhah..
Clearly I'm happy but at the same time lazy and nervous and not ready..Hah..I dunnno..Just having the stupid feeling creeping me..haa..

And so now..Lets just hope that tomorrow and till the day I graduate,I were to have a very happy and enjoyable and fun time..May I do well in all I do..And may I succeed...I love myself!!Hhah..

OK so people..If I could,I would update about how my ferst day of school on my new semester goes like alright?Bye now..Loves..

ps:I'm still wondering how to contact Zura about meeting tomorrow..HHaha..Shall message her tonite!

PUTERI GUUNUNG LEDANG

Seriously..I'm tired!!

Haha..From yesterday and from training..I came back from training,bathe,eat and then I've on my lappy to do abit of last minute ressearch on Puteri Gunung Ledang..It's tiring..Searching for videos and reading up on the legends of this PGL thingy..So many different version that I'm not sure which one is real..My lack of knowledge on this topic is making it quite difficult for me..Cause I'm struggling to try to put my emotions in..Not that anyone is pointing out any thing I'm doing..It's either I'm too good,my acting is ok or they just can't be bothered with me..But I think,I'm doing fine..

School os reopening..Seriously,I'm not that sure if I'm waititng for it or I'm wanting it to end soon..Hha..I know I've been saying I cant wait..But..School reopening means club crawl os coming fast and personally,I'm not ready to go on stage and perform this yet..I'm just afraid..And lets just say that I dun really have the confident this time..Hha..

Erm..Nothing else I guess...Bye!

Hai haiz haiz

I am super tired to type but I just wanna satidfy myself to doing it..I'm not really the type to leave my blog untouched for some time and not feel guilty about it for not having the sense of responsibility..(Stop bullshitting tqah)

OK..Drama training is getting abit more serious..And our definition of serious is not stricken-face and no-nonsense behaviour..Getting into character and stage position and the voice and all is starting and I know I've yet to live up to the expectation.I know some might have given up on me but for those who think that I've got better to show that I'm not,do encourage me to do better ya?I love you people.

My sleeping at nights has become so irregular that I dunno what time to sleep and what time to wake..I mean it and I've got aroung 5 nights to get use to it before school reopens coz I seriously do not want soured face and am not expecting pathetic behaviour out of myself..I'm expecting the sweet and cheerful me all over again!Get grip of your bad attitude Tqah!

Reading has been like a chore..Thanks to all the books that have been filling my days.And when typing out this,I realised that I've got another 5 days to finish up 3 more books..Creep!No more nonsense from me and no more procrastinating will be expected from me when school reopens!

Man!!Why do I feel that its so hard to abide to those I've made clear to myself..?Why do I have to feel that I might also not have the discipline to do all that..I did bad for the previous semester..I passed everything but the result was a steep fall for me!Local universities are already out fro the topic unless a miracle happen.At least,let me graduate Nanyang with good grades and a satisfying results.

Insyaallah..I know I can do this..

ydaw..ydae..ydae!!

Sometimes I ask myself what godd did I do to deserve him..
And sometimes I wonder how bad I can get..

Haha..OK..Yesterday I would say was one such wonderful day..Without me realising,I spent 8 hours with bf the whole day..Went to Causeway to get the bracelets that mummy bought for me and sis.Then went to Civic..And haha..syg,I am so sory..Haha...He kept complaining about me spending so long in the library..And if its not because of him nagging and the time,I would have spend longer in there..Haha..Its the library!!!Haha..Then went home and rush to bathe,get ready for training and eat..Haha..Then off to school but went off early ydae..So,I know I missed alot of training ydae..So sory..I've really got to goo early..Hmm!

So yeap..I spend my day with bf..I like!!!Haha..

And yeap,apart from just being with him ydae,I also got a call from Zura..Hhaha..Happy sey!!I didnt think it would be her,I just thought it was mumy but when I heard her voice,I just wanna shout..haha..lame you know never talk to her..But I can't shout because I'm in the bus..Haha..Tlk about school with her awhile and we're done..Hha..

Erm..Ydae my Abg Hadi call me..Haa..Happy to hear from me..Hahahhahahahaha...

My favourite bro..

I've always want a brother..An elder brother..Bro always asked,'why bro,not sister?'.And I will always say that a brother is much more responsible and fun to be with..And I know that if I've got a brother,he will love me alot..I just know it..

And so,I asked mumy the other day that if she were to gave birth to my elder bro,what would be his name and she said 'Hadi'..Haha..I laughed at the immediate answer cause apparently,I've got a bf with that name..Hahha...But still.Hadi for my brther would be nice..

If some 2nd or 3rd child thinks that being the eldest is so much fun,then try to be one...You will know that you dun like it soon after..I've always thought that being the 1st was awesome..It was..I won't really say I've got priviledges but theres just the perks..Haha..(nonsense,I know)..But sometimes..no.often..its difficult..You always have the young ones to look after and for my family,I'm responsible for my siblings behaviour and all..And given kid's attitudes nowadaes,making them the best I want is not an easy job..Those comes in package for being the first.If you wanna know what I'm talking about,then go figure.

Talk back about my brother..Mumy said that he might be erm..around 20,21?Since,I know my bro will love me alot..I kow I can be so pampered with him and I can have someone I can talk to about anything..I know I could tag him along to wherever hes going..And I know I will love him alot..Hah..

And so....Now..I've got a bro....Yay!!!An imaginary one..Since I can't possibly get a real one.I get myself am iaginary one and I can make him be whatever I want my abg Hadi to be..Haha..And now,he happen to be in NS..Hhehhe..

Mumy and everyone else in the family think I'm crazy..Maybe..I dun care..I like sooo desperately want a bro.Maybe you people will think I've got screwed up brain but I dunno.I so want a brother..I need a brother whom I know I can go to when I cry and he be my shoulder to cry on..Waaa...Cute...Since,I've been born the eldest,I won't complain..It's fate but hoping and having an imaginary one is not wrong right..?Hah

I dunno

It suck to know something is wrong with your love one but not knowing exactly wats the problem..
Should I have just ask
Would I be told?
For once,I didn't know what I should do..

Anything happen and as long as I 'mampu', I will always love you,Sufyan!!

Dang Raya Rani

Its late..I should go to sleep..Ya ya I know..

Went training ydae and I would say,the training wasn't like how it usally was...2 reasons..First,everyone was like super hyped-up except for me..I so dunno why..Secondly,despite all that,things was quite intense too..Hahah..We are drama people and sometimes a little bit of real-life drama just among us is good for the soul!!Hhe..

Good news,I liked the name Dang Raya Rani like so damn much and what made me soo happy was that I was given that role to be her..Wa..My name would be Dang Raya Rani for the moment..Happy la sey..Bad news was,I could keep my eyes open during the later part of the training cause I was so sleepy..Dunno why but when I reached home and when head touched pillow,I can't sleep.Crazy!

Today was spend on reading..I finished reading 'To catch a thief' from Christina Skye..I love her books..Haha..Romance ya ya..But still,she always write about Navy guys and all the cool chips they have implanted on them and the cool2 thing they do..I've read like 1/3 of her story creation and I like them all..Gonna move on to another book tomorrow.Maybe I should start first with Susan Mallery..Hha..

Ok.people..I'm tired of typing..So I shall go..Go...and rest my head and eyes..Hha..Nites..

sob sob

Unlike the other few days,today I am not feeling too tired..Basically because I woke up 3 or 4 times in the morning..And every time I woke up,I checked my hp..Baby,you should know why..

So..I was sleeping soundly when I was awaken by the noises made by mum and sis and grandma..They were talking about something and bro soon woke up and went to them..I was awake but my body wasn't..So I was still lying like a log when everyone else was panicking and screaming..Actually..Given the situation that happened justnow,just anyone with a fullly-properly-functioned brain would wake up and see whats happening but given my too lazy body and eyes, ignored and try to go to sleep..Until some minute later mummy came to the room and asked me to wake up because my very last and the very small kitty gave birth to another 4 small kitties..Yeap,I know I should woke up earlier but I was too lazy to.So I get up and sat down on the mattress for another 10 mins before I get myself fully awake...

Aunt(whose cat ever gave birth) came over in a matter of minutes after mum called her over..Those cleaning and taking and putting processes made and not even once did I enter the scene..Firstly because I wasn't fully fully awake..Secondly,I dun think I can handle looking at my small kitty suffer and thirdly,too many people at scene and I dun want to give more fear to poor kitty.And so,now shes inside a cage with 3 of her 'child'.1 of them died..Miscarriage they said and I'm still wondering..

And now looking at her in the cage with those 3 very small(like rat) little thing.I am feeling something..Something I dun really know what to describe as.Mummy and daddy want to give them all away together with my kitty..I dunno.I havent protest and say anything about it but bro has protest it but to no avail..I dunno..I dun want my kitty gone.I look at her meowing whenever we're near and seeing her so helpless like that,I could only feel like crying.Imagine a 9-10 year old girl pregnant with triplets.A girl who know nothing about life yet and a girl you've been holding with love alll the time..A girl who can only play and play and have not yet have enough chilldhood trapped in motherhood.Not that I'm saying my kitty was trapped only that it seems like that..I'm crying now!

i think I should just stop now..

Feeling kinda like crap!crap!

Its a weird thing.

Lets not talk about my feelings here now cause if you people wanna know why,I'm feeling quite like crap..

Since I've been back from KL,I've been listening to Circus,Womanizer and Just Dance..From Britney Spears the first two and Lady Gaga for the last one..All because,staying in KL for the that 5 days,I've been hearing the song again and again on the radio channel and I seriously want to know how to sing them..And now,I know..!!!Not every word la but at least I know..Hehe..I'm cute..I know!!

And now I;m singing to Shattered Glass by Britney Spears again..And haha..Because that I'm feeling like crap,the song is freaking suitable for the mood and whatmore it to be in a remix version.Hah..

And I'm chatting with a friend...Hahha...What life??

Hahha...I wanna say something but thought better of it..I love my bf.